When Waffles Matter
Host Lenny Nombril invites celebrity guests into the podcast to prepare waffles.
Barricaded Borgnine SandwichesJan 2, 2015 00:51:32
Labtayt Sulci in the mid-1970sJan 2, 2013
Ten Miles to DenverApr 1, 2012 00:50:30
Enjoy the aromatic audio, Walloonians, although be aware that the compiling of this particular episode sent our audio person running for the Advil.
You have been warned.
I’ve fallen sick by the wayside and my life is leaving me quick.
Gary Paul - 4 songsJan 2, 2012 00:13:34
The passing of a dear friend is never soft on the soul. Such is the case for the recent passing of a real brother to those who knew him.
Gary, aka LC Burt, today would prefer that we not dwell on his passing; rather that we listen to if the low E needs tuning, that elusive next jam session, or which freebee music he recently scarfed from his local library. He was an artist: Born on Hurmeb Day and sadly leaving us on Jimi Hendrix’s birthday.
Featured here are four of the roughly fifteen songs Burt recorded in 1980 at various studios in Baltimore. Originally recorded as dry tracks, the intent was for other instruments to be overdubbed at a later date, hence the ‘spaces’ left for solos, etc. For these particular songs such overdub sessions never occurred.
Burt’s life highway had off ramps unlike the guy next door. Unconventional. Oddly wrong. Just plain whacky. Though if one were to summarize his net positives at the close of his 57-year ‘gig’ it could [...]
MWOP 7 RemasteredJan 2, 2011 32:44
Happy 2011! As New Year’s Day tradition dictates, a hearty heaping upload is in order. And we’ve got a doozie: Through the tubeless tire-less efforts of our crack legal department, this wafflecast has secured the exclusive rights to feature, one episode at a time, the entire Music Without Perspective series. As a first installment we offer up number 7 of the series, recorded 10/9/80.
MWOP was audio program hosted by Vince Valparaiso and Ken Westby. It ran from August 1977 to October 1980. Newly-released alblums would be played and reviewed / critiqued by the two illustriously immature hosts. Except for the 4th broadcast, MWOP reviewed alblum cuts by “vocalist” Tom Brown.
Mr. Brown had been an OSHA compliance officer. By the mid-70s he was a freelancer, giving instructive seminars around the country in the name of workplace safety. A November 1976 remote recording gig meant Baltimore-based audio engineer Larry was dispatched to a Philadelphia hotel ballroom to [...]
The Save-A-Penny SuperstoreApr 3, 2010 50:11
Here’s an assiette chock full of music for that next midnight drive down the A6 & A10 to Orleans, Blois, Amboise, and the Loire Valley. Listener song submissions are very appreciated: Bored toll booth employees who speak no English will be catching bite-size morsels of your tune. Happy now?
Get the essence of life: Gas up sans plumbe before Gentilly and pay no attention to the sad Portuguese church on the right. It’s 00h14 and your hired Fiat’s hit eighty clicks already. Slip in a burned CD of this episode and use the A6 exits as song indices. It will line up perfectly.
The play list for this episode is yonder. If it isn’t then wait a spell and it will be (there’s a bit of lag time for our blog dude to get off his ass). Thanks to listeners THIS episode sports more submissions than any previous episode! Abuse our Drop Box with impunity and syrup. Oh, [...]
Barnyards are coated with mudJan 1, 2010 47:13
2010 has finally arrived and that can mean but one thing: It’s the “International Year of the Filmstrip”. When Waffles Matter reluctantly complies with its first ever “podcast-synched-to-a-filmstrip” podcast, episode #15. Follow these eight easy steps for gratification:
1. Download the mp3 file (below) before Tuesday.
2. Wait 14 minutes.
3. Thread the projector, carefully making sure the sprocket holes line up with the audio prompts of your iPod’s Bell and Howell device. It is not necessary to turn on the projector lamp at this time.
4. Turn on the projector lamp.
5. If your Brumberger is not equipped with auto-advance, ask your teacher if YOU (and not Frank Zook) can be the one to manually advance the filmstrip frame by frame.
6. Start projector now. The first audible tone prompt is merely a test prompt. At the sound of the second audible prompt tone the Bell & Howell browser sprocket holes should be synchronized with this [...]
Our Anniversary Spectacular!Sep 19, 2009 53:17
Holy hollow hulls of Hungry Jack! This past June 15th was When Waffle Matter’s second anniversary! “This calls for a celebration!” declared Lenny. “I always cheer up whenever I see syrup.”
To commemorate two delectable years on the Internets Lenny had the urge to splurge. Invitations were printed, sprinkled with powdered sugar, and mailed out. Alas, only three Karo cronies confirmed causing quite a crunchy waffle kerfuffle. No matter: Lenny was determined to party like it’s 1965!
Declining the invitation were the CEOs of Pillsbury, Hamilton Beach, Mrs. Butterworth’s, The Food Network, Proctor-Silex, and some low-level supervisor in Kellogg’s Eggo Division. Belgium’s Ambassador to the United States did not return any of Lenny’s twenty-three collect telephone calls.
Gosh, so who showed? Marcello Presac was in attendance, dapper in a smart smock woven from an old, not nearly so smart smock he once owned. Teresa was lovely in a prêt-à-porter p [...]
Droplets of Steaming BobignyMar 29, 2009 44:26
Balbyniens all, we began compiling this particular waffle recipe with the intention of showcasing songs containing Theremins that really shouldn’t have Theremins in them.
Gradually, however, Lenny obtained a discount religion and was quite nonetheless.
Syrup swallowers born after April Fools Day, 1992 should not be listening to or downloading this or any other episode of When Waffles Matter.
Hinge Replacement - Oster 3883Jan 24, 2009 51:56
It happens all too often. Kitchen accidents do occur yet most are. They needn’t occur even in hearty times. Feeling pesky, Marcello dropped by the kitchen last week intending to enjoy a rather robust afternoon of peeling blueberries for Mrs. Nombril’s birthday party. The fact that Mrs. Nombril has not been seen since 1965 is beside the point: Lenny wanted blueberry waffles for the wifely waffle woman.
Fast forward 12 minutes. Now rewind 2 minutes. Play for 38 seconds. Now, fast forward again, this time for 23 minutes. There! Stop right there! Okay, so Marcello and Lenny decide they’re going to re-hinge an Oster 3883 instead of peeling blueberries. Now, I know what you are thinking as we’ve all been there before: What about the steeplof grommet located askew of the straussman retainer? A sticky wicket indeed and potentially dangerous in [...]
It’s Marcelloween!Oct 4, 2008 54:14
I Love EnergyAug 16, 2008 51:52
Unclogging Syrup NozzlesJul 6, 2008 51:53
My Space But Your SpatulaApr 13, 2008 51:29
The suits upstairs who run this debris field of a website noted decades ago how deliciously golden brown the unsigned music artists are over at MySpace Music. Snuggly megabytes to your pinna are therefore in order.
WWM syruply supports and scrumptiously salutes the oodles of talented unsigned artists far above what our poor power can add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember the waffles we ate here, but it can never forget the music they performed here. It is for us the downloading, rather, to be dedicated here to the powdered sugar which they who emulsified have thus far so nobly advanced.
Lenny has obtained a signed affidavit from a guy named David. These documents have been unsealed and may go stale because they’re no longer sealed. At this point ‘twould be quite acceptable [...]
Emulsify! Emulsify!Jan 1, 2008 52:01
Tenderly, our dad Lenny ponders the spent nose drop dispensers of his spent youth. How much did he spend on such a conflagration? Double the desired daily dosage dollop? And was his youth spent? Don’t know. Can’t say. Can’t even say if it was tenderly pondered. You may have already noticed – indeed many postings ago — that this writer enjoys unnecessary adverbs. It’s a device and nothing more. Banish! Away ye to the LennyLinks (scroll below/right) und doth view Lenny’s FACEBOOK page.
Here at the WWM corporate kitchens we’re emulsifying like there’s no tomorrow. You can too! Douse yourself in this new wafflecast post. Don’t have an iPod? Well, download the sucker and burn to a Cee-Dee.
Behold: We’re looking for a very first listener i [...]
A Louer : Un GaufrierNov 18, 2007 53:15
Lenny has done it again. Handsome recipes await you in this latest download. Two of the sumptuous plates were inspired by a gaggle of dead Algerian poets Lenny met on his very first junket to Brussels. Beaten to a pulp and left to rot in the seething Wallonian sun, Lenny barely managed to scribble these crowning concoctions onto a soiled napkin before oozing into a nearby convent. If you can find a better truck, then buy it. Unable to speak the language and strapped for cash, Lenny rented out his tongue for weddings and bar mitzvahs until a Walgreens was eventually constructed around him, whereupon he paid the astounded cashier, received a friendly smile, and simply strolled out the door. With newly-found devotionals and thrice-weekly dancing lessons Lenny wanders aimlessly looking for the misplaced car keys of life.
You should write to us (you really should): email@example.com
Happy Halloween!Oct 28, 2007 53:58
Marcello goes trick-or-treating and searches for the meaning of life. Lenny decides he wants to take Rumba lessons after receiving a whack on the noggin. There’s more fun waiting for you inside the podcast, so crank up the hi-fi and have at it.
If you don’t have an iPod you can still bash that link to download and toss the file inside your pooter for later burning.
Hey, leave a comment at the MEET LENNY tab up top. Or drop us a line at firstname.lastname@example.org .
Thanks for dropping by!
The WWM Staff (who have staph germs)
Bicentennial Spatulas Have ArrivedSep 30, 2007 54:35
For those of you who ordered WHEN WAFFLES MATTER celebrity spatulas 31 years ago, your ship has come in! A truck pulled up to the WWM kitchens Friday morning and delivered the 42,250 special bicentennial spatulas we ordered back in 1976.
Lenny was so excited he helped unload the truck. “I always knew they’d arrive sooner or later,” beamed the eternally optimistic Mr. Nombril. “We’re going to party like it’s 1976!”
Our Labor Day Spectacular!Sep 2, 2007
Not so spectacular for the poor suffering Lenny, we are sorry to report. He’s been extradited back to Iowa and incarcerated in the Hardee County jail. It all stems from his July bus excursion there to Poloroid-photograph every single rest room of every single Waffle House in three southwestern Iowa counties. Apparently the recent Senator Larry Craig incident at the Minneapolis Airport has cops nationwide on a feeding frenzy.
As Lenny cogently explained at his bail hearing on Wednesday, “Yes, my spatula may have come into contact with the police officer’s foot, but I was bending over to pick up a paper coupon for 10% off any Proctor-Silex product now through September 30th at participating dealers. Offer void in NE, VT, MO, MS, AZ, PA, WI, MA, and east Burtonsville.”
“The vice cop emphasized that he clearly saw a gold ring on my left hand. I responded with helpful tips on how to remove those [...]
Buttermilk Blues & Free SpatulasAug 19, 2007
Lenny is out of the hospital and gushing with stories about his recent bus trip to Poloroid-photograph every single rest room of every single Waffle House in three southwestern Iowa counties. Marcello Presac drops by the Podcast yet is prevented from speaking due to the recent court order leveled against him. Not to worry: Marcello has vowed to counter sue those buttermilk bastards if it takes all of the tip money he regularly leaves at Bob Evans when enjoying the $4.99 ‘Festive Belgian’. Stay tuned! When Waffles Matter has rescinded its maple syrup boycott against the IHOP in Laurel, Maryland; however, the apple butter prohibition shall remain in place until further notice. We apologize for any inconvenience. Please be aware that we will be making spot checks at the aforementioned eating establishement (we have our ways), so please don’t make us force the issue. Thurl Ravenscroft, ‘the voice of Tony the Tiger’, takes part in a duet and autographs spatu [...]