Joy Phenix, Billy Phenix

Between Parents

A conversation for parents between parents
Between Parents

Description

This podcast is a dialog about challenges and opportunities parents face as they raise kids, enjoy marriage, and live a purpose-filled life. These honest conversations give parents fodder so they can talk to each other, be encouraged, and recognize they aren't raising kids alone.

Episodes

#165 – 9 Ways To Encourage Other Parents

Jan 21, 2020 31:23

Description:

Have you noticed (or felt) a low-level of parent fatigue? Are you familiar with the dazed expression of someone who is feeling overwhelmed? Well, now is as good a time as any to remember things we can do to encourage our community. Today’s podcast offers nine practical ways to lighten up the load of others and find a little encouragement yourself.

Related Links:

Episode # 89 – Why Married Couples Need Single Friends (and Vise Versa)

Episode # 42 – The Most Powerful Question in Marriage

Practice This:

Identify 2-3 parents that you can invest in for the next few weeks - then make a plan to use your words of encouragement

If you have someone in mind who could use some presence - either in the form of listening - or actually helping with life's logistics, make a plan to SHOW UP!

Also remember…

Sharing is caring!!  If you’ve enjoyed this episode please share! You can leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

OR cut/paste a link from our website betweenparentspodcast.com (this is also where you can find helpful packages of back episodes!)

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook.

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#164 - When Kids Make Mistakes

Jan 14, 2020 39:09

Description:

So your kid has made a mistake – not an accident or “oops” – but a bad decision, a willful rebellion, or a knowing infraction. How do you address the problem? What’s your reflex and what’s your strategy? Where do your emotions land in the equation. There’s a bunch of thoughts to process and today’s podcast will get you started!

Talk about this:

Discuss your default mode when your kid's do something wrong? In what ways are you most likely to mishandle the situation?

What ideas resonated with you on correcting your kid's mistakes?

What are some steps you can take OR reinforce for making your approach as healthy as possible?

Also remember…

Sharing is caring!!  If you’ve enjoyed this episode please share! You can leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

OR cut/paste a link from our website betweenparentspodcast.com (this is also where you can find helpful packages of back episodes!)

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook.

Thanks for being awesome!

 

 

#163 – The First, Best Response To Any Conflict

Jan 7, 2020 36:47

Description:

There’s a principle in medicine to “First, do no harm.” This wisdom is surprisingly relevant to all relationships, particularly in a family setting. However, if you’re like us, sometimes our actions do, in fact, make things worse.

Why does this happen? How can we do better? That’s today’s discussion!

Talk about this:

We have all "made things worse" before - think about some specific examples for you.

Consider a current conflict and list out responses that could make things worse (and think about how likely you are to respond that way).

Brainstorm ways you can respond in a healthy way!

Also remember…

Sharing is caring!!  If you’ve enjoyed this episode please share! You can leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

OR cut/paste a link from our website betweenparentspodcast.com (this is also where you can find helpful packages of back episodes!)

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook.

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#162 - Overcoming Parent Guilt

Dec 17, 2019 33:30

Description:

When this happens, guilt creeps into our heads and clouds our hearts. How do you shed guilt in a healthy way? That’s today’s conversation.

Talk about this:

Are you more likely to feel overly guilty or not guilty at all in your parenting? How does this impact your family life?

Are you more likely to accept or deflect blame? What habits would help you to step out of the blame game altogether?

How can you practice making amends with your kids THIS week?

Where would your home life benefit from developing new plans?

Related Link

Episode #119 – Improving Your Marriage Through Better Systems – HERE

Also remember…

Sharing is caring!!  If you’ve enjoyed this episode please share! You can leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

OR cut/paste a link from our website betweenparentspodcast.com (this is also where you can find helpful packages of back episodes!)

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook.

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#161 – 5 Thoughts On Dividing Household Chores

Dec 10, 2019 28:18

Description:

Here’s a fact that made us say “wow”:  according to Pew Research, sharing household chores ranks as a top three issue associated with having a successful marriage (third only to faithfulness and good sex). This seems like something we can all master, right? That’s today’s podcast conversation!

Talk about this:

Go out of your way to express gratitude to your spouse this week.

Compare notes to clarify and synchronize your household priorities

Discuss which tasks you hate the most and then plan on doing the chores together.

Related Link

In case you REALLY want to know, the mascot for the University of Waterloo is the King Warrior. Check it out HERE

Article about couples thinking they do all the work HERE

Also remember…

Sharing is caring!!  If you’ve enjoyed this episode please share! You can leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

OR cut/paste a link from our website betweenparentspodcast.com (this is also where you can find helpful packages of back episodes!)

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook.

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#160 - Four Reminders To Make The Holidays Meaningful (replay)

Dec 3, 2019 27:15

Description:

How is your pace around the holidays? Do you feel like you are absorbing the joys? Or does it all feel like it’s a blur? In this episode we cover four reminders that will help your family make the season more meaningful.

Talk About This:

Are we comfortable with our pace?

What are our favorite traditions? Are there some we need to ditch?

Related Link:

Episode #78– The Best Way to Destress Your Family

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#159 - 60 Conversations For Family Meal Time

Nov 26, 2019 34:04

Description:

Even though we know it’s important to have dinner together, after hustling the family to the table, it’s exhausting to guide a meaningful conversation. Where do you start? Who has the energy to form a strategy?

In this episode (and JUST in time for the holidays!) Billy and Joy jump-start the process with a structure and 60 questions (pdf attached) so you can make your time around the table meaningful.

Take a listen!

RELATED LINKS: GET PDF OF QUESTIONS HERE

8 Strategies For Getting Your Family Around The Table

Family Stories That Bind Us - NYT

The Secrets of Happy Families

ALSO REMEMBER:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

#158 - Creating Intentional Habits

Nov 19, 2019 35:20

Description:

“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”  So says James Clear – and, we agree. But where do you start new habits in your family? We have a few VERY specific ideas for you on today’s podcast!

Talk about this:

Discuss where your family would benefit from establishing new habits then pick a small, SUSTAINABLE next step. Practice for the next 30 days!

Related Links

Episode #38 – Keystone Habits

Atomic Habits by James Clear

Also remember…

Sharing is caring!!  If you’ve enjoyed this episode please share! You can leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

OR cut/paste a link from our website betweenparentspodcast.com (this is also where you can find helpful packages of back episodes!)

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook.

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#157 – Relieving Holiday Tensions

Nov 12, 2019 26:28

Description:

For a host of reasons, the holidays can be rough on our schedule, our health, and particularly our relationships. Wouldn’t it be nice to make the upcoming holiday season a little smoother? In today’s podcast we tackle a few ways to let out the pressure! 

Talk about this:
What are our priorities? Do our traditions serve our priorities or do our priorities serve the tradition?

What expectations am I carrying? What exactly am I expecting of others?

How can I celebrate others?

Is this ___________ (whatever I’m about to consume) a wise decision?

Bonus question for others: “Tell me about why you believe what you do." (then listen!)

Related Link

Episode #116 - Four reminders to make the holidays meaningful

Also remember…

Sharing is caring!!  If you’ve enjoyed this episode please share! You can leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

OR cut/paste a link from our website betweenparentspodcast.com (this is also where you can find helpful packages of back episodes!)

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook.

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#156 – Why Be Normal

Nov 5, 2019 34:04

Description:

Have you ever told your kids they aren’t normal? Have you ever even THOUGHT it? Today we kick around the idea of “normalness” and that there may be a better and/or more precise word to use. Take a listen!

Talk about this:

- In what areas of our parenting might we be pushing an agenda under the guise of NORMAL when it might just be OUR agenda or the POPULAR agenda?

- In what ways can we begin a conversation with our kids to better understand THEIR desires, affinities, and wants as they grow?

- In what ways do you see your kids becoming HEALTHIER versions of themselves?

Also remember… 

Sharing is caring!!  If you’ve enjoyed this episode please share! You can leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

OR cut/paste a link from our website betweenparentspodcast.com (this is also where you can find helpful packages of back episodes!)

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook.

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#155 - Is Criticism Killing Your Marriage? (replay)

Oct 29, 2019 34:51

Description:

No one likes to be picked at…but criticism is especially deadly in marriage. In this episode Billy & Joy challenge you to try and see your critical habits in the mirror and to consider the impact they have on your marriage.

Talk about this:

What critique hurts more than others?

What critiques feel like personal preferences?

What criticisms are good advice, but delivered poorly?

What topic/issue is most important to you?

How does your wiring impact the way you communicate?

Also remember…

Sharing is caring!!  If you’ve enjoyed this episode please share! You can leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

OR cut/paste a link from our website betweenparentspodcast.com (this is also where you can find helpful packages of back episodes!)

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook.

Thanks for being awesome!

 

 

#154 –Uncovering Family Narratives

Oct 22, 2019 37:44

Description:

Have you ever considered how your fellow family members describe your family? Have you ever asked them what they think about when they think about each other? If you’ve ever told a classic family story (e.g., the time the car died, or the dog was lost) chances are you noticed how different the narrative is from one person to the next. In fact, for stories we don’t say out loud the narratives can vary even more wildly – and sometimes not in the best way. In today’s podcast we discuss how those stories can shape our family life and what to do if they go negative.

Related Links:

Episode # 147 - How Storytelling Impacts a Kid's Happiness

Episode # 99 - Asking kids better questions

Episode #86 - 60 Conversation Starters For Family Meal time

Episode #115 - Making family meals worthwhile

Episode #131 - Question Grab Bag 

Talk about this:

Are you aware of each other's narratives? Where are they the same? How do they differ?

What are some specific steps you can take to uncover the narratives of your kids?

How can you build habits into your family that bring out the best narratives?

Also remember:

Sharing is caring!!  If you’ve enjoyed this episode please share! You can leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

OR cut/paste a link from our website betweenparentspodcast.com (this is also where you can find helpful packages of back episodes!)

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook.

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#153 –Owning Your Parenting Flaws

Oct 15, 2019 27:52

Description:

Chances are your kids know your flaws better than you do. Of course, they can’t (or won’t) put the most helpful words around those flaws, so we thought we’d give you a way into some insights. In fact, this episode gives you a dozen questions to think about, wrestle with, and squirm through as you own your flaws! Take a listen if you dare!!

Talk about this:

I AM MORE LIKELY TO...

OVER schedule my family or AVOID planning and making family commitments DISENGAGE or BE A "QUESTION gun" to my kids at the end of the day PUSH kids out of their comfort zones or PROTECT my kids when they are uncomfortable. BE WALKED ON or BULL DOZE OVER my kids when they have different opinions or push back? MANIPULATE or BE MANIPULATED BY my family? STUFF my anger or EXPLODE when mad? BE TOO CONTROLLING or TOO DISENGAGED in addressing my kid's negative behavior? HELICOPTER or be UNINTERESTED / DISTANCED in my kid's school? TALK too much or SAY too little?

I AM MORE WORRIED ABOUT ...

My kids being afraid of me OR not respecting me? Not knowing what my kids are doing OR being overly-involved in their lives? Being inflexible OR being unreliable?

Also remember:

Sharing is caring!! If you’ve enjoyed this episode please share! You can leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

OR cut/paste a link from our website betweenparentspodcast.com (this is also where you can find helpful packages of back episodes!)

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook.

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#152 –Three Little Big Ideas For A Lasting Marriage

Oct 8, 2019 32:48

Description:

Sometimes little things make a big difference – especially in marriage. In this week’s episode we kick around three ideas that can make all the difference in keeping your marriage strong (and fun!)

Talk about this:

Ask your spouse for a ranking on how they think you are doing AS A COUPLE when it comes to 1) Embracing consistency 2) Having strategic habits 3) Having fun.

Which areas do you need to work on? Make a plan!

Related Links:

How to fold a fitted sheet – HERE

James Clear: Atomic Habits – HERE 

Episode #38 – Keystone Habits  

Episode #48 – Is Criticism Killing Your Marriage?

Also remember:

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#151 –Question Grab Bag - Discipline, Date Nights, & Neat Freaks

Oct 1, 2019 29:53

Description:

Time to clear out some lingering questions! In this episode we’ll discuss how to not squash your kids with a disciplinarian approach, what to do if you aren’t having regular date nights, and finding the middle ground when it comes to keeping your house tidy.

Talk about this:

We've jumped around today so pick one of these areas to discuss with your spouse:

Your disciplinarian approach - does it need work?

Your date nights - does it need structure?

Your housekeeping challenges - does it need flexibility and improvement?

Also remember:

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#150 Navigating Differences With Your Kids

Sep 24, 2019 35:45

Description:

Do you have a child who is wired so differently than you that you find yourself thinking, “Who IS this child of mine?” Do you ever wonder how to navigate those differences in a healthy way?  If so, then you’ll find today’s podcast particularly helpful! Take a listen or pass along to anyone who might relate!

Talk about this:

Kick around the idea of differences with your spouse and compare notes on the differences each of you see between you as parents and your kids (you'll likely identify different pieces!)

How likely are you to argue over Preferences rather than Principles?

What can you do to make sure you're valuing Relationship over Being Right?

Related Links:

Episode #60 – What To Do When Your Spouse Annoys - HERE

Episode #107 – Understanding Personality Types - HERE

Episode #128 - When You Don't Understand Your Spouse - HERE

Also remember:

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#149 – Two Things Parents Need When Discouraged

Sep 17, 2019 29:54

Description:

Inevitably every parent faces moments of discouragement. But when these moments come, what’s the best way through the challenge? How do you find the support and wisdom you need to thrive? Check out today’s discussion on Between Parents!

Talk about this:

Where are you in relation to the hurricane wall?

What can you do to establish community now? (where can you offer support?)

Identify a handful of people you would like to connect with who could offer wise counsel. Seek them out and get some time on the calendar!

Also remember:

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#148 – Five Ways to Battle Discouragement In Marriage

Sep 10, 2019 29:42

Description:

Marriages are complicated, subject to falling into ruts and disrepair. Discouragement is a natural byproduct when this happens. So how do we battle this trap? How do we find hope when challenges arise? Today’s podcast has a handful of helpful ideas to get you on track.

Talk about this:

Since this week's content is super action-focused, review the five starting points:

Recognizing seasons
Checking your habits
Finding brightspots
Leaning into community
Serving others

Consider the next thing you can do to move to a more encouraging time? Talk about it - if not with your spouse, then with whomever would encourage you to follow thru - then DO something!

Related links:

People who sort of look like Adam Sandler but aren’t Adam Sandler Facebook Group HERE

Episode #136 Keystone Habits HERE

Also remember:

Have you left a review on iTunes?  This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!  

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

How Storytelling Impacts A Kid’s Happiness

Sep 3, 2019 27:03

Description:

Have you ever noticed how many details kids forget about their childhood? Developmentally kids haveto forget old things so they can learn new things. But what happens to all of those happy memories? Well, that’s where parents come in. Today’s podcast is about the little known job parents have to be the “keepers of happiness.”

Talk about this:

As you go away this week, we'd love to challenge you to do two things:

Decide on one or two ways you can collect stories and Have at least one “story time” this week

Related links:

Gretchen Rubin’s podcast goodness HERE

A terrific article on family story telling HERE

Also remember:

Have you left a review on iTunes?  This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

 

#146 – The Dangers Of Over-Processing The Future

Aug 27, 2019 33:03

Description:

Do you feel like you need to talk about every aspect of the future with your spouse? What if your speculative conversations do more harm than good? Have you considered waiting to see how life unfolds first? Join us for a conversation where we kick around the idea of holding your tongue.  

Talk about this:

Is "over-processing" something you are likely to do?

Do you ever feel like you either tune out your spouse OR feel like you're being tuned-out by your spouse?

Discuss what YOU think are “major” and “minor” things you have talked through in the past and whether it's been “likely” and/or helpful.

Also remember:

Have you left a review on iTunes?  This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#145 – Facing Flaws In Marriage

Aug 20, 2019 33:43

Description:

Have you ever considered how easy it is to find flaws in other people and how challenging it is to see our own faults? Even though this bias is natural, it’s not very helpful in a marriage. Today’s discussion breaks apart this phenomenon and challenges us to dig a little deeper into our individual issues. Fun, right? Listen in if you dare!

Talk about this:

The biggest flaw I bring in the marriage is _______

What words feel safe for my spouse to use around this flaw?

 In what way does my spouse's behavior make sense?

How well do I empathize with their struggles?

What can I do to extend grace to them?

Also remember:

Have you left a review on iTunes?  This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#144 – Eight Back-to-School Reminders (Replay)

Aug 13, 2019 31:03

Description:

School days are right around the corner, which often feels like a blessing, but can also feel like a curse. So how do you make the most of the school year? Today’s episode is a great place to start with eight reminders for every family with school-aged children!

Talk about this:

Which item on this list feels like a challenge for us?

What’s our plan for encouraging our child’s teacher?

Related Links:

Episode #66 – Picking Schools For Your Kids 

An additional article on enjoying school here

Also remember:

Have you left a review on iTunes?  This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#143 -  Avoiding the Monotony of Parenting

Aug 6, 2019 34:56

Description:

Are you bored at home? Does the monotony of your routine zap all of your enthusiasm for parenting? You are not alone! We polled our listeners and compiled their best ideas for beating the monotony and enjoying the days more. Although this list may not be groundbreaking, each idea is a reminder that there are ways to find joy in the little moments and small wins of each day.

Talk about this:

Compare notes with your spouse or whomever you are doing life with and BUST up this weeks routine to do something different. Pick an idea from our list or come up with your own, but find the EXTRA and have fun!

Also remember…
Have you left a review on iTunes? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

https://www.betweenparentspodcast.com

#141 - Two Crucial Skills Every Kid Needs To Learn (Replay)

Jul 30, 2019 32:57

Description:

Do you know the most important part your kid’s education process? In this week’s podcast Billy & Joy discuss one guy’s opinion that the best education focuses on just two things. Check out the quote below and decide if you agree!

Seth Godin quote

“ Sooner or later parents have to take responsibility for putting their kids into a system that is indebting them and teaching them to be cogs in an economy that doesn’t want cogs anymore. Parents get to decide. I’m a huge fan of public school … But from 3 to 10 those kids are getting homeschooled, and they’re either getting homeschooled watching the Flintstones or they’re getting homeschooled in learning something useful. And I think we need to teach kids two things: one, how to lead, and two, how to solve interesting problems.

There are plenty of countries on earth where people are willing to be obedient and work harder for less money than us. So we cannot out-obedience the competition. Therefore we have to out lead or out solve the other people … who want whatever is scarce. The way you teach your kid to solve interesting problems is to give them interesting problems to solve. And then, don’t criticize them when they fail. Kids aren’t stupid. If they get in trouble every time they try to solve an interesting problem, they’ll just go back to getting an A by memorizing what’s in the textbook …

We don’t need to have them spend a lot of time getting good grades so they can get into a famous college, because famous colleges don’t work anymore. Famous colleges don’t work anymore. The point is, is there an entity that will have trouble living without you when you seek to earn a living? Because if there is, you’ll be able to make a living. If on the other hand you’re waiting in the placement office for someone to pick you, you will be persistently undervalued. “

Talk about this:

What are practical ways we can get our kids to practice leadership?

What are my tendencies that might undermine their leadership process?

What are interesting problem solving skills we can give our kids this week?

What are my tendencies that might undermine their problem-solving process?

Related Links:

Bats and turbines – read at your peril here

The Seth Godin conversation was originally found on the Tim Ferriss Podcast here 

Also remember…

Have you left a review on iTunes?  This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#141 – Can you “affair proof” your marriage? (replay)

Jul 23, 2019 47:06

Description:

Extra-marital affairs can be ruinous to marriage, family, and self-esteem and yet they are familiar parts of our storylines. Is it possible to stop them from happening in the first place?  In today’s episode Billy and Joy discuss factors that erode our relationship and what we should focus on to keep our marriage strong.

Talk about this:

- How much do we talk about our temptations as a couple? How much do we talk about what concerns us? How can we be better?

- In what areas might I/we be "eroding?"

- Is there any practice or mindset that might leave us more exposed for affairs?

Related links:

The Art of Manliness podcast - HERE

Pornography and broken relationships article HERE

Guardrails – Message 3 Forever Yours HERE

Also remember:
Have you left a review on iTunes?  This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#140– 6 Crucial Practices Before Becoming Parents (replay)

Jul 17, 2019 32:07

Description:

Are you thinking about having kids? Ever wonder what you need to know or maybe what things you shouldn’t worry about? Where do you start? In this episode Billy & Joy discuss six crucial practices to develop before you have kids. While this list isn’t exhaustive, it’s a great starting point.

Here’s a quick recap of the list:

#1 – Establish healthy habits

#2 – Dial into families whose family (and processes) you admire

#3 – Prioritize your marriage

#4 – Prepare for your new life with some practical questions

#5 – Imagine the failings, disappointments, and flaws with a family

#6 – Practice Serving

Talk about this:

Where do we need to spend time thinking about our pre-kid planning?

Related Link

In case you want to see the list of misspelt words, look HERE 

Also remember:
Have you left a review on iTunes?  This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#139 Respond vs React : How to keep your cool

Jul 9, 2019 36:15

Description:

Do you ever lose your cool?  Have you ever felt like you have one nerve left and everyone is standing on it?  If you’re like us, it’s easy to react to people and circumstances reflexively – to give full range to impatience, frustration, or anger.

In this summer replay episode Billy and Joy kick around the idea of responding rather than reacting to the things that bug us.

Take a listen and form some of your own opinions about their opinions!

Talk about this:

How often do I react to my kids versus respond to them?
What "Pause Phrases" can I use? (Practice them!)
What circumstances do I need to imagine in advance? Where do I struggle to "assume good intentions?"

Related-ish Links

Malaphor examples HERE

Getting to the bottom of disagreements – Episode #84 HERE

Also remember:
Have you left a review on iTunes?  This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#138- The Most Insightful Parenting Movie Quote We Know

Jul 2, 2019 28:34

Description:

I don’t know about you, but quoting movies is one of our favorite hobbies. We love when characters say EXACTLY what’s on our mind. In this episode we kick around a classic exchange between parents that convicts, challenges, AND entertains us. You might want to check out the link below before you listen to this episode so you can “see” what we’re talking about.

Talk about this:

Kick around these quotes - discuss what you find challenging about parenthood. Do any of these ideas ring close to home?
How do you respond to life's messiness?

Related link:

See the movie clip HERE 

Also remember:
Have you left a review on iTunes?  This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

137 - Creating Family Identity

Jun 25, 2019 32:20

Description:

Have you ever heard of a nameless team…or of a team without logos, colors, and songs? These tools identify groups, rally individuals and galvanize fans. When you see people sporting a particular mascot on the back of their car or t-shirt, you learn something about them. In this episode, we discuss the importance AND the process of creating a family identity.

Talk about this:

What's stopping you from creating a family identity?

What is your process to hone in on your values? When and where will you do it?

How will you display and celebrate your values?

Related link:

HERE is an example of the truth wall mentioned in the episode.

Also remember:
Have you left a review on iTunes?  This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#136 - Keystone Habits of Healthy Families - REPLAY

Jun 11, 2019 36:41

Description:

We have dug deep into the archives to one of our favorite principles - establishing keystone habits that help make and keep a family healthy.

We all have habits. We all do little things daily that add up to something bigger than we expect. In this episode Billy and Joy discuss Charles Duhigg’s concepts around Keystone Habits and how little efforts can make a big difference in our relationships and with our families. Take a listen and find small victories you can have with little changes!

Talk about this:

What ills do you see in your marriage / family that might improve in the presence of a good keystone habit?

What Keystone habits do you ALREADY do?

What others might you try adding on?

Remember – just introduce one new habit at a time!!

Related Links:

If you love this topic, we highly recommend Charles Duhigg’s book, The Power of Habit

Listen to Duhigg’s TED Talk HERE

The Jerry Seinfeld “Don’t Break The Chain” calendar explained HERE.  

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#135- 20 Practical Ways To Invest In Your Marriage

Jun 4, 2019 30:30

Description:

When someone says you should “invest in your marriage” do you ever wonder what that means? How can you make the idea practical?  Look no further! We have 20 quick ideas for you!

Talk About This:

Today’s episode is less about talking and more about DOING! Pick your favorite “investment reminders” from the show and do some of them!

Related Links:

Episode #57 – Hurry Home

Episode #9 – Making In –Law Relationships Work

Episode #45- Let’s Talk About Sex: Marriage Edition

Episode # 95 – Marriage As A Team Sport

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman HERE

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#134 - Tips for Making Summer Great REPLAY!!

May 28, 2019 29:01

Description:

Are you ready for summer? Even though it feels like we have barely defrosted from winter, the days of grilling, swimming, and sunscreen are here. If you’re like many parents, the change of routine has its blessings and curses.

On this REPLAY episode Billy and Joy discuss practical tips for making summer fun with just a little bit of effort. Have a listen!

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

When A Parent Disapproves Of A Spouse

May 21, 2019 32:59

Description:

Have you or your spouse ever felt judged by your in-laws? If so, you know the experience is not just challenging, it’s emotional. How do you navigate these treacherous waters and still maintain a relationship? That’s today’s conversation.

Talk About This:

As you process with your spouse consider the five ideas

1 - How can you create space for your emotions?

2 - In what way do you need to cultivate understanding?

3 - Where do you have expectations as it relates to your inlaws?

4 - Consider what's the best way to plan for the long term?

5 - Do you embrace the "we" factor or does your spouse feel at all accused?

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Stop Asking Kids This Question

May 14, 2019 29:04

Description:

What do you want to be when you grow up? This seems like a harmless question, right? But what if it undermines what we really want for our kids? That’s the thesis of a recent article by Adam Grant and the topic of today’s podcast.

Talk About This:

When we talk about the future with our kids, how much do we emphasize the "what" you'll be versus what you'll be "LIKE?"

What are the potential liabilities in the way we talk future employment with our kids? What should we continue to emphasize in the same way?

What unique personalities, types, or wirings separate our kids (or separate our kids from us) that should be noticed as we have future-oriented conversations? 

Related-ish Links:

The Full NYT article by Adam Grant HERE 

Dolphin like submarine video HERE

Adam Grant TED talk HERE and his book Originals HERE 

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

#131- Question Grab Bag: Demands, Wisdom, & Hospitality

May 7, 2019 33:59

Description:

Today’s episode clears out some of the random questions we have received about family life. There’s a little something for everyone here PLUS maybe we answered a question that’s been on your mind too!

Talk About This:

In what areas do we struggle with being servant-hearted?

What are key words/phrases we can use to elevate our service factor?

What prevents our ability to release our expectations in our relationships?

Who do we need to spend time with those behind us (newer to) in their season of marriage?

Discuss the idea of opening up your home to others. Are you ready for that? What would be your hesitations? What makes you excited about doing so?

Related Links:

Episode #89 – Why Married People Need Single Friends (& Vise Versa)

 

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#130- Letting Go Of Control In Parenting

Apr 30, 2019 25:24

Description:

Are you ever tempted to control your kids? Perhaps you’re merely tempted to drift into the world of “over-managing” them. Whatever the case, in this episode we give you a word picture WE LOVE that can help you stop the control madness!

Talk About This:

We encourage you to talk to your spouse and extended friends and family about the idea of being a Gardener or an Architect. Work to bring that language into your conversations.

Then identify how your mindset reflects Gardner ideas or Architect ideas. How is this mindset helping or hurting?

NEXT consider what behaviors need to change BECAUSE of this mindset.

Finally, discuss where you feel most pressure to grow at home- curiosity/patience? Improving environments? Or purging worry? 

Related Links:

Episode #65 – Balancing Freedom & Responsibility

Episode #114 – How to Worry Less About Your Kids

Neil Gaiman on the Tim Ferris Podcast

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#129- Removing Negotiation From Marriage

Apr 16, 2019 31:01

Description:

Some say "life is a series of negotiations," so why shouldn’t marriage be the same way?  

In this episode we’ll discuss how negotiations is not only tedious, but also dangerous to your relationship with your spouse. Then, we’ll also suggest an alternate approach.

Talk About This:

Discuss your tendencies to turn challenges into negotiations. Does this happen often? Sometimes? Rarely?

When are you most likely to negotiate instead of white boarding your challenges as a couple?

What are reminders/key words you can use with your spouse to make sure the next decision is handled with a "team" approach?

What potential decisions are in your future where you might be tempted to negotiate?

Related Links:

Episode #29 - The Mosquitos of Marriage

Decisive by Chip & Dan Heath

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#128- When You Don’t Understand Your Spouse

Apr 9, 2019 32:51

Description:

Who are you?

I don’t understand him!

I don’t get her!

These are common frustrations in any relationship, but what can you do to move pass misunderstanding? How can you demystify your spouse? That’s today’s conversation!

Talk About This:

Take one of the areas of your marriage and talk to your spouse about how your behavior reflects Nature, Nurture, and/or Choice. Possible non-emotional areas to process are:

Where and how do you like to vacation How do you like to spend your evenings How do you respond to music

Related Links:

Episode # 107 – Understanding Personality Types in Marriage

Episode # 126 – The Five Seasons of Marriage Differences

Episode # 52 – How Family of Origin Impacts Your Marriage

Episode # 97 – Forgiveness in Marriage 

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

https://www.betweenparentspodcast.com

Raising Kids in a Digital Age pt 5: When do I give my kid a phone?

Mar 26, 2019 31:50

Description:

Unfortunately this simple question doesn’t have a simple answer. 

In this episode Billy and Joy discussed the critical milestones your kids should reach before getting a phone and the markers you’ll need to notice and, as necessary, discuss with your kids during the Pre-Phone Season. 

Now it’s time for you to have your own discussion. These questions should get you started!

TALK ABOUT THIS:

How digitally mature are your kids? What conversations do you need to initiate with your kids? What have been your biggest takeaways through this podcast series?  What changes or additions do you want to make?  What other adults are you having this conversation with on a regular basis?

 

LINKS:

RESOURCES FROM TRANSIT STUDENTS (North Point Community Church):

VIDEO: Joy Interviewing Andy Stanley on Technology & Parenting GUIDE: Smartphone Guide for Parents

TECHNOLOGY SOLUTIONS:

Circle By Disney: Internet content and time manager  Covenant Eyes: Screen Accountability

Raising Kids In A Digital Age Pt 4 - Strategy 101

Mar 26, 2019 40:51

Description:

In the last episode we introduced the idea of evaluating digital maturity through a three-part filter - WHEN/HOW MUCH/WHY.

Keep those categories in mind as you listen to episode four. Then get ready to talk strategy! The discussion questions below should prompt you to share how to practically apply those filters in our families. However, you should use this time to get at the best ideas and to consider where you might need to make some changes!

 

TALK ABOUT THIS:

What digital guidelines do we have for our family? How do you know they are working? Ask everyone to give a grade on their techniques considering the pros and cons.  What digital guidelines do we want for our family?  What are the best ways for us to have healthy discussion as a family around digital issues?  What are the opportunities for us to use technology for good together?  Are our kids mature enough to handle the digital opportunities we are giving them?

LINK:

BOOK: The Tech Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place.

by Andy Crouch

Raising Kids In A Digital Age Pt 3 - Toward Maturity

Mar 26, 2019 36:28

Description:

The primary role of a parent is to raise our kids into mature adults. This includes people who know how to do their own laundry, work, pay a few bills, recycle and maybe even get their own place to live! 

However, in the age of constant electronic connection, parents have a new item in their job description: raising digitally mature adults.  

Where do you begin? How do you know that maturity actually exists? Listen to this episode as a prompt for the discussion questions below.

TALK ABOUT THIS:

How do you define “digital maturity?” Does it differ from what you heard in the episode? From your perspective, which seems to be the biggest challenge for your kids: WHEN they use it HOW MUCH they use it, or  WHY they use it? Ask your kids to identify their challenges, too. Do they match? What are YOUR challenges with tech? (Remember, you don't get off the hook!)  What should each of you do in response to these challenges? How do you rate your ability to discuss your family tech struggles? Discuss how you can incorporate the language of WHEN/HOW MUCH/WHY into regular conversations. 

LINK: 

BOOK: Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls by Lisa Damour

Raising Kids In A Digital Age Pt 2 - The Good & Bad

Mar 26, 2019 34:11

Description:

When parents discuss technology, they frequently have negative opinions. 

Finding the threats to safety, attitudes, and relationships is an easy exercise, but what about the good? Are we worried about something innocuous? Or is technology going to ruin our families?

After you listen to this episode, have a candid discussion to assess if you’re overly concerned OR if you need to pay closer attention to what’s happening with these devices.

TALK ABOUT THIS:

Which POSITIVE benefits of technology have you seen in your home? Consider the positive impact of time management, improved efficiency, and better connections. Which NEGATIVE repercussions have you felt in your home?   Consider the negative impact of time management, improved efficiency, and better connections. If you have teenagers, ask THEM these questions, too! What did you learn?  What factor does FEAR play in your approach to giving your kids digital opportunities?  What adjustments should we make to our thinking?

LINK:

BOOK: The Tech Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place.

by Andy Crouch

Raising Kids In A Digital Age Pt 1 - Managing The Tension

Mar 26, 2019 29:36

Description:

Remember life before smartphones?  Do you ever wish we could go back to those days?  

Chances are your kids won’t ever distinguish between being on or off line because life will simply be online all the time. So since our digital devices are here to stay, how do we manage the impact on our lives? How do we navigate the tension when our kids seem obsessed with screens and parents might be a wee bit addicted too?

Listen to episode one then have a candid conversation about managing the tension tech brings. 

TALK ABOUT THIS:

How addicted are you to your devices? Do you struggle with feeling like a hypocrite? Where do you fall on the technology pendulum? Are you more likely to see devices as a non-issue or are you hyper-concerned? Does it vary? why? What are you emotions when it comes to parenting around technology? In what ways do you relate to the idea of being a “digital immigrant?” Are you reluctant to jump into the new culture? How are you resistant to embracing the new motherland? How do you see your kids being “digital natives?” Are any of their natural adaptations intimidating to you? How can you connect with your kids THIS WEEK to understand more of their world? What specific app/game/YouTube star are you willing to have them teach you on? 

LINK:

BOOK: Right Click: Parenting Your Teenager In A Digital Media World 

by Dr. Kara Powell, Art Bamford, Brad M Griffin

#127- Awkward Date Night: Family Edition

Mar 19, 2019 26:02

Description:

Have you ever wondered how you’re doing as a parent? What do your kids think about the way you handle the family? If you want some insightful comments, ask them! In this episode we’ll discuss how to solicit feedback from the people who experience your highs and lows first hand.

Talk About This:

Although this week was all about questions, we still think there are a few things you should process with your spouse.  

Discuss the answers you got from your kids and what you learned. Did any of the answers surprise you?

Are there things you need to change in light of your kid's answers?

What would you do differently the next time you plan an "awkward" session?

Related Links:

Episode #11 – The Awkward Date Night

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#126– Five Seasons of Marriage Differences

Mar 12, 2019 32:29

Description:

Have you ever noticed how your spouse is different from you? Have you ever been irritated by the difference? Maybe you’ve been able to move past the difference and ended up in a really happy place. What accounts for the spread between irritation and celebration? That’s the discussion on this episode!

Talk About This:

Evaluate what season are you in?

Is your spouse in the same season?

What are the differences that need to be celebrated?

What obstacles are preventing you from moving to season 4 or 5 (Appreciation/Celebration)

Related Links:

Episode #60 – What To Do When Your Spouse Annoys

Episode #107 – Understanding Personality Types

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#125– Nine Quick Tips For Raising Middle Schoolers

Mar 5, 2019 34:01

Description:

If you have kids middle school age or younger today’s episode gives you some bite-sized thoughts to digest. Consider it a little encouragement for walking through the season of raging hormones, emotional tsunamis, and one-word answers.

Talk About This:

Which resonate with you most?

Which are you already doing?  

Which will be hardest for you to implement?

Which do you want to try?

Related Links:

Episode 8 - Is this Really Just a Stage?

Episode 73 - Enjoying the Middle School Years

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#124– Overcoming Parent Competition

Feb 26, 2019 29:26

Description:

Are you stressed out when parents “brag” about their kids? Do you ever feel like you don’t measure up in the land of parents? You’re not alone and you’re not crazy. But what do you do to relieve the pressure when you feel like raising kids is a competition? Let’s chat about it!

Talk About This:

How often do I feel competitive with other parents? What are the triggers?
Is there anything I do that could make other parents feel like I am being competitive with them?
What specific person/family do I need to celebrate more?

Related Links:

Mindset by Carol Dweck

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#123– 10 Tips for the Newly Pregnant

Feb 19, 2019 32:27

Description:

If you’re newly pregnant or know someone who is today’s discussion is practical and encouraging! We kick around the question about whether you can “over share” and what it means to curate rather than collect advice. Take a listen (and congratulations!)

Talk About This:

Which of these 10 tips feels most challenging? Why?

How should we prioritize this advice?

Related Links:

#90 - What New Parents Wish Grandparents Knew

#25 - Ten Guiding Principles for Parents with Newborns

#54 - Toddler 101: Parenting Through the Early Years

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!  

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#122– Reframing Valentine’s Day

Feb 12, 2019 29:17

Description:

Do you love or hate Valentine’s Day? We are surprised how many people fall into the loathing camp! Perhaps it’s time to reframe this holiday and make it fun again. Today’s podcast gives you five ways to make that happen!

Talk About This:

Ask your spouse what they think their love language is...gifts/physical touch/words of affirmation/acts of service/quality time

Ask your spouse if they feel like Valentine's Day fills them up or drains them.

Talk about how you would MOST like to acknowledge the day (OR NOT) - remember - if it's a stressful thing, then you're not doing it right. We should ENJOY CELEBRATIONS ; ) - and that can mean simply letting them pass OR buying a box of chocolates.

Related Links:

The Five Love Languages By Gary Chapman HERE

Waffle House Valentine’s Day HERE

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#121– Controlling Your Conflict Personality

Feb 5, 2019 32:32

Description:

Disagreements are part of every marriage, but do we have to fight? Or is it better to stuff our feelings in the name of keeping the peace? What if there’s a third option? That’s the discussion on this episode.

Talk About This:

Ask your spouse where THEY think you fall on the spectrum.

DO NOT DISAGREE - JUST LISTEN

In light of where you land, go through the three practice areas and decide what changes you need to make.

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#120– Five Perspective-Giving Truths For Discouraged Parents

Jan 29, 2019 31:32

Description:

Are you exhausted or discouraged? Perhaps a little bit of both? Today’s podcast is for you with five big picture, you-can-do-this, “at the end of the day” bits of encouragement. You’ve got this!

Talk About This:

What thought did I MOST need to hear?

HOW can I commit it to memory?

What other parent needs this encouragement? (pass it along!)

Related Links:

Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl - HERE

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#119– Improving Your Marriage Through Better Systems

Jan 22, 2019 40:08

Description:

Have you ever been at a store or at a government agency and been completely frustrated with how poorly the place was run? If so, then you’ve come across this principle: A lack of organization leads to relational tension. This is true not only with service organizations - it’s true in our marriages. In this episode we’ll  discuss how you can make your marriage better simply by improving some of your systems.

Talk About This:

What tensions do we regularly face that might be related to bad (or no) systems?

What can we do, organizationally, to improve?

What solutions do we need to research or use? (What do we need to learn to make this better?)

Related Links:

Episode # 40 - The One Piece of Data That Blew Our Minds  

Date Night blog posts here, here, and here.

PLUS an @home date night idea HERE 

Book review – The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up

A Blog post about Creating Homes in the kitchen HERE

 

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#118 – Why You Should Cultivate Independence In Your Kids

Jan 15, 2019 39:03

Description:

Doesn’t every parent want his or her kid to become independent? While this seems like an obvious “yes,” many parents interrupt their children’s growth process by making life too easy for them. When we fall into the trap of removing hardships and shortening challenges we rob our kids of lessons they will need for life outside the home.

It’s a big topic and we hope today’s discussion challenges your thinking!

Talk About This:

What is my natural bent... to be too permissive or too restrictive on my kid’s push towards independence? What should I do in light of this?

What are some of the reasons I am reluctant to let m kids "do it themselves?"

What are some of the greatest steps to independence I could grant my kids in THIS season of their lives? What are some of their "stretch" activities?

Related Links:

The Coddling of the American Mind HERE

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#117 – Parenting With The End In Mind

Jan 8, 2019 30:58

Description:

How will your kids describe your family when they are grown? How will they characterize the high points and low points? For parents it helps to start journey with the end in mind.  In this episode, we’ll review a few categories to consider and discuss as you start a new year!

Talk About This:

Imagine your kids as adults completing the following sentences. What would you like them to say?

My mom and/or Dad were consistently ________. I admired the way my family __________. I appreciate how my parents intentionally taught me to _______. (Consider both hard and soft skills) I wish my family had done more _________ (or done less) When we disagreed with each other we usually _______. I know I was loved because __________.

Review with your spouse or community what you need to start doing and what do you need to stop doing to make sure you’re on the path to your desired outcome?

Related Links:

The Five Love Languages for Kids – HERE

7 Habits of Highly Effective People -HERE

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#116 – Four Reminders To Make The Holidays Meaningful

Dec 18, 2018 27:15

Description:

How is your pace around the holidays? Do you feel like you are absorbing the joys? Or does it all feel like it’s a blur? In this episode we cover four reminders that will help your family make the season more meaningful.

Talk About This:

Are we comfortable with our pace?

What are our favorite traditions? Are there some we need to ditch?

Related Link:

Episode #78 – The Best Way to Destress Your Family

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#115 - Making Family Dinners Worthwhile

Dec 11, 2018 28:47

Description:

#115 – Making Family Meals Worthwhile

As great as sitting around the dinner table sounds, sometimes it’s challenging to pull off. We get it! We’ve been there. On today’s podcast we’ll discuss why and how we can prioritize mealtime together and the difference it makes in connecting as a family.

Next Steps:

Pull out the ol’ calendar and schedule your family meals together for the rest of your month

Related-ish Link:

We have RESEARCH!

National Health Institute Review HERE

Family Meals & Social Engagement Study HERE

Family Meals & Overall Health insight HERE

The Family Dinner Project Website HERE

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#114 - How to Worry Less About Your Kids

Dec 4, 2018 38:08

Description:

Do you know anyone who doesn’t worry about their children?? Neither do we!
But all of this fretting may not be good for our kids or for us. On today’s episode we talk about the risks of worry and steps we need to take to reduce our anxiety.

Next Steps:

Evaluate - how much time and energy do you spend worrying? Is it reflexive for you? Do you wear it as a badge of honor?

Because this may be hard to see in the mirror - and to verify your self-assessment and ask your spouse/friends to give you feedback on whether you are a worrier.

Finally - most of us could stand to worry less - to shift our mental energy to something more productive - think about AND ACT on how to express more confidence to your kid!

Related-ish Link:

Articles on the impact of worry on health HERE and HERE 

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#113– What To Do When Your Love Dries Up

Nov 27, 2018 32:57

Description:

Every marriage has moments where love feels dry or inaccessible. The challenge is not to deny this season, but to be ready for it and to respond well once it arrives! But how do you make this practical? That’s the discussion on this episode!

Next Steps:

Today's follow up is to conduct a self-evaluation and action plan on the Three Healing Steps.

Consider:

Where to I need ACT differently toward my spouse?

Catalog what my spouse appreciates in terms of loving gestures.

Practice praising your spouse AND FINALLY - create a habit of focusing on what's good.

Related Links:

The shoe throwing insult per wikpedia - HERE 

Episode #11 – The Awkward Date Night

Episode #70 – 5 Ground Rules for Marriage Communication

Episode #84 – Getting to the Bottom of Disagreements

Episode #88 – Practicing Vulnerability in Marriage

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#112 - Building Emotional Intelligence In Your Family

Nov 20, 2018 37:01

Description:

Have you ever met an academically smart person who doesn't connect well with others? Or someone who frequently misses the emotions of those around them? A lack of Emotional Intelligence is often to blame. Fortunately, these skills can be learned and strengthened. The BEST time to improve your abilities is now, and the place is in a family setting.

Next Steps:

Process the idea of EI by taking a few steps:

First, conduct an honest self-evaluation and rank yourself on Emotional Intelligence - give yourself a # between 1-10 (don't pick 7!)

Next, ask someone you trust to give you feedback on what you do that would argue for both a HIGHER and a LOWER number

Finally, apply this idea to your family: - How do you think your family's specific personalities lend themselves to Emotional Intelligence?

How does your family do with presenting their emotions well... or with empathy for each other? - What are some of the opportunities to practice this and become better?

Related Links:

Episode #71 – Showing Emotion To Your Kids

Harvard Business Review - Emotional Intelligence 12 Elements

Feelings Inventory PDF

Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg (Joy references this frequently!)

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#111 – Question Grab Bag: Frustration, Shyness, & Feedback

Nov 13, 2018 37:56

Description:

Time to clear the mailbag! You guys have asked us about what to do when your kids are frustrated, how to work through “painful” shyness, and how an awkward date night might not go so well. Join us as we kick these topics around!

Next Steps:

Send us more questions! We loved this!

Related Links:

Episode #11 – The Awkward Date Night

Episode #22 – Forgiving Your Kids

Quiet by Susan Cain

TED talk by Susan Cain

Susan Cain illustrated here

Mocking font a la sPonGEbOb SqUaRePanTs generator here

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#110 – Making the Engagement Season Great

Nov 6, 2018 32:41

Description:

You’re engaged! Congratulations!! Let the fun begin!

A great thought! However, for many people who recently popped the question and said “yes,” the months before the wedding isn’t an easy season. Why is that? On today’s episode we’ll kick around what can make engagement season challenging and some practical ways to take off the pressure.

Talk about this:

Review the four stumbling blocks and discuss which one feels most threatening.

What steps do you need to take to minimize the threat and what should you do to make this season amazing?

Related Links:

Episode #72- Eight Things To Do Before You Get Married

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#109 – Fighting for a Healthy Family Tempo

Oct 30, 2018 33:19

Description:

Does the pace of your family ever feel frantic? Do you feel like you run from thing to thing to thing? You’re not alone! On this episode we discuss what it means to adjust our pace and create strategies for releasing pressure in our family life.

Talk about this:

Do we have an unhealthy tempo?
What's preventing us from making adjustments?

NOW TALK ABOUT THOSE THINGS!

Related Links:

Episode #38 – Keystone Habits of Healthy Families

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

#108 – 12 Garbage Habits in Parenting

Oct 23, 2018 38:28

Description:

Life is messy – especially when it comes parenting. (Or perhaps your kids actually pick up there stuff!) If we aren’t careful, chaos can take over more than our household, it can impact our relationships. Like Episode #106, in today’s podcast Billy and Joy discuss what sloppy habits we need to purge in order to keep our family healthy!

Talk about this:

Where is there garbage in our parenting?

What steps do we need to take to get rid of it?

Related Links:

NY Times article on sleep HERE

Episode #106 – 12 Garbage Habits in Marriage

Joy’s blog posts on quick meals HERE and HERE

Episode # 78 – The Best Way to Destress Your Family

Episode # 33 – Enjoying Your Family

Episode # 10 – Keeping the Family Fun

Episode #31 - Erasing Fear From Parenting

Episode #99 – Asking Better Questions

Episode #30 – Five Important Questions to Ask Your Kids

Episode #3 – Fighting with Kids

Episode #85 – Respond vs React

Episode #57 – Hurrying Home

Episode #83 – Leave Kids Space to Grow

Episode #58 - A Parent’s Most Fundamental Role

Episode #98 – Five Truths For Discouraged Parents

Episode # 2 – A Warning About Parent Measurements

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#107 - Understanding Personality Types in Marriage

Oct 16, 2018 41:59

Description:

We love personality tests not just because they help us grow individually, but because they can build empathy and understanding in our relationships. This is especially true in marriage. On this episode we’ll give you one example (ours!) of how a variety of tests provide a common language and improve our connection.

Talk about this:

How are you, as a couple, learning to leverage the knowledge of type and the common language found therein?

What are the tensions you are currently facing that might be more rooted in your personalities and types over what you currently think... that your spouse is simply doing this to bug you?

What's your next step to get to work?

Related Links:

Episode # 60 - What to do when spouses annoy

MBTI 

The Five Love Languages

Enneagram

Strength Finders 

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#106 – 12 Garbage Habits in Marriage

Oct 9, 2018 41:15

Description:

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to trash a place? Without constant maintenance it feels like garbage would take over our lives. The same is true in our marriage – little habits and behaviors creep into our relationship that can eventually trash the connection with our spouse. In this episode Billy and Joy review the “Dirty Dozen” of marriage garbage and offer some ways to see if any of them are cluttering your relationship.

Talk about this:

Where is there garbage in our marriage?

What steps do I need to take to get rid of it?

How can I take ownership of the garbage I leave around?

Related Links:

Episode #104 - Coming to grips with your spouse’s imperfection

Episode #95 – Marriage is a team sport

Episode #11 – The Awkward Date Night

Episode #97 – Forgiveness in Marriage

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#105 – 9 Things Your Kids Won’t Tell You

Oct 2, 2018 36:30

Description:

Wouldn’t you love to get logical, reasoned feedback from your kids? Wouldn’t it be fantastic if they expressed appreciation for your hard work, if they explained when they were hurt or frustrated or if they admitted that you were usually right? On today’s podcast we discuss things your kids won’t tell you, but are true nonetheless.

Talk about this:

What do you think your kids don't tell you?

What encouragement makes the biggest difference to you?

Are there any areas where you feel like you need to make changes?

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#104 – Coming To Grips With Your Spouse’s Imperfection

Sep 25, 2018 34:08

Description:

Have you ever noticed your spouse is flawed? Of course this is a rhetorical question, but as couples say their vows, it’s easy to minimize those flaws. Don’t we all hope for a seamless compatibility to rule the day? But what do you do when as life progresses and the frustrations mount? How do you cope with the imperfections you always seem to notice in your spouse?

Talk about this:

This week we would love for you to sit with these steps - to think about the quality of your marriage and to examine where you might have tensions because you expect your spouse to be someone that they will never be. Then consider what steps you need to take to start the process of grieving and healing - and ultimately celebrating your spouse.

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

#103 – Tips For Parenting Your Future Teenager

Sep 18, 2018 36:44

Description:

Ready or not, your young children will soon become teenagers. For most of us, this means our parenting journey will feel like peddling a bike up a long, steep hill. If you want to be ready, you’ll build momentum for the teenage challenge during the elementary school years. In this podcast, we’ll discuss what that means with practical ideas and starting points!

Talk about this:

Spend time imaging what your kids will be like as teenagers.
Compare notes with your spouse or community.
Discuss where do we need to create more habits and routines with our kids? (Keep an eye toward building momentum!)

Related Links:

Episode #56 – Dreading The Thought Of Your Kids Growing Up

Episode #64 – Talking To Your Kids About Temptation

Episode #33 – Enjoying Your Family

Abundance Mindset – this is a term developed by Stephen Covey and explained in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. A summary is on Wikipedia article here.

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#102 - Are You Ready For Marriage? Couple Edition

Sep 11, 2018 39:46

Description:

What makes a couple ready for marriage? Is it the amount of time spent dating? Or is it based on shared experiences? Is a couple ready because they are generally “compatible” or because they have been great dance partners at weddings? Why is it important to be “ready” to be married anyway? All of that on this episode of Between Parents!

Talk about this:

As you think about your relationship and your “readiness” consider what areas need to be turned up and what areas need to be turned down.

TURN UP:

Love. Respect. Communication. Friendship.

TURN DOWN/REMOVE:

Expectations. Dark Corners. Unhealthy habits. Dependence on parents. Self-centric attitudes.

Related Links:

Episode # 55 – Can You Affair Proof Your Marriage?

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

#101 – Are You Ready For Marriage? Individual Edition

Sep 4, 2018 32:32

Description:

So you think you’re marriage material? How do you know? Is there anything you can do in advance to make sure you’re ready to say, “I do” successfully? We think so! In today’s episode we discuss six key practices for getting ready for marriage even in the dating season.

Six Key Practices:

Practice Self-Awareness

Practice Healthy Conflict

Practice Other Awareness

Practice Serving

Practice Boundaries

Practice Intentional Community

Talk about this:

Where do I need the most practice?

What can I do to remember to practice?

And a BONUS QUESTION if someone passed this podcast along to you, in which of these categories did you feel under-prepared when you got married?

Related Links:

Ep #52 - How Family Of Origin Impacts Your Marriage

Ep #72 - Eight Things To Do Before You Get Married

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

#100 - A Very Special Episode*

Aug 28, 2018 39:20

Description:

Welcome to the triple digits everyone! Thanks for coming along on this journey with us. Today we’re doing a “highlight reel” featuring the themes of this podcast. If you’re new to this podcast (or passing it along), below are a few links to episodes that touch on these themes.

Enjoy!

Joy’s Themes

Greatest compliment you can give someone is to enjoy their company! 

  Episode sampling: 

Best Way to Destress Your Family 

Enjoying the Middle School Years

101 Fun Things to Do as a Family

Enjoying Your Family 

Be a team

  Episode sampling: 

Creating Your Family Identity

Marriage as a Team Sport 

Put issues in front NOT between 

Episode sampling:

Five Questions About Marriage

Forgiveness in Marriage

Strategies are your friend

Episode sampling: 

Can You Affair-Proof Your Marriage

Parenting With A Positive Vision

Margins Matter (so build them into your life!)

Episode sampling:

When Is It Time To Quit?

Awkward Date Night

Billy’s Themes

Know thyself.

 Episode sampling:

Discovering Your Default Operating Systems

Practicing Vulnerability In Marriage

Don't do this alone.

 Episode sampling:

Don't Do Life Alone

10 Newborn Principles

Be the one that models the way to be in conflict.

 Episode sampling:

Respect in marriage

Fighting With Your Kids 

Keep the long view.

 Episode sampling:

Keystone Habits For Healthy Families

Erasing Fear From Parenting

Make the most of the time you have.

Episode sampling: 

One Piece of Data That Blew Our Minds

A Parent's Most Fundamental Role

 

Please remember to share with others!  Thanks for being here and listening along!   

 

*but not in a parental advisory, creepy kind of way!

#99 – Asking Kids Better Questions

Aug 21, 2018 36:41

Description:

Have your kids ever clammed up when you ask them questions? Do you feel like it’s been ages since you’ve heard more than a one-word answer? Perhaps there’s a better way to chat with our kids.

In this episode we discuss five principles for starting great conversations.

1st PRINCIPLE: Question for interest - If it’s important to your kids, it should be important to you.

2nd PRINCIPLE: Question for stories – bring out the storyteller in your child

3rd PRINCIPLE: Question for the long view – anchoring your kid to family identity

4th PRINCIPLE: Question for insight - checking your child’s gauges

5th PRINCIPLE: Question for opinion – learning what your kid really thinks

 

Talk about this:

What are the most common questions you ask your kids? Do they reflect your values?

Which of the five principles do you need to incorporate into your repertoire?

How can you remember to ask better questions?

Related links:

Mike Birbiglia asks Obama for baby advice here

Episode #37 - Creating A Family Identity

Episode # 41 - 21 Conversation Starters For Families

Joy’s blog on asking effective questions here

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

#98 - Five Truths For A Discouraged Parent

Aug 14, 2018 32:14

Description:

Have you ever been put into a tailspin by a challenging day? What parent isn’t sometimes discouraged by the rigors of raising kids? Today’s episode has five nuggets of encouragement you need to keep in mind. Remember – you are doing a great work!!

Talk about this: If you're feeling discouraged, we want to encourage you to share what's going on with your spouse and others in your circle of influence.

Also share which truth was most encouraging to you.

Related links:

Episode #97 Asking for Forgiveness

Text for Autobiography in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

# 97 - Forgiveness In Marriage

Aug 7, 2018 36:30

Description:

Has your spouse ever hurt you? Or have you ever done anything to hurt your spouse? No matter how great your marriage, there will be times where forgiveness is required. But even when you recognize this as true, the actual FORGIVING isn’t easy.

In this episode we discuss not only why you should forgive your spouse but some practical ways to build a habit of forgiveness.

Talk about this: This week we don't have questions for you so much as we want you to PRACTICE the last point of the podcast* which is to go to your spouse with anything YOU have done and ask for forgiveness - receive it well - then PRACTICE letting go!

(*Note – this might not make sense if you’re reading these notes before listening to the podcast, so go listen!)

 

Related links:

Benefits of forgiveness articles HERE and HERE (use google for a whole bunch more!)

Episode #60 – What To Do When Spouses Annoy

Episode #11 -The Awkward Date Night

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

#96 – Eight Back-to-School Reminders

Jul 31, 2018 31:03

Description:

School days are right around the corner, which often feels like a blessing, but can also feel like a curse. So how do you make the most of the school year? Today’s episode is a great place to start with eight reminders for every family with school-aged children!

Talk about this:

Which item on this list feels like a challenge for us?

What’s our plan for encouraging our child’s teacher?

Related Links: Episode #66 – Picking Schools For Your Kids

An additional article on enjoying school here

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

#95 – Marriage As A Team Sport

Jul 24, 2018 32:48

Description:

There are plenty of word pictures that work for describing a great relationship, but one of the most memorable ones we’ve ever heard is seeing marriage as a team sport. In this episode, Billy and Joy break down five ways treating your spouse like a teammate can be a game changer.

Talk about this:
How well do we function as a team?

What areas need our attention?

What do you feel are your unique talents and where would you like to see my support?

When do you feel like I celebrate you well? And where can I do better?

Related Links:
The Awkward Date Night - Episode #11

The Awkward Date Night Blog Post

Also remember:
We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

#94 - Kicking The Parent Intimidation Trap

Jul 17, 2018 33:51

Description:

Do you ever wonder how your parenting ranks? Do you evaluate your mother/father “job performance” relative to others? Do you ever question how others are so pulled together while you struggle? These questions are easy to consider, but pull us off track of what matters. In this week’s podcast Billy and Joy review a couple of mental exercises and a few habit that will help kick the parent intimidation trap.

Talk about this:

Where do we have a limited mindset?

How easy is it for me to be vulnerable with others? Who are my “people?”

Who can I celebrate TODAY? Stop everything and shoot a text RIGHT NOW!

Where do I need to replace lies with truth?

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

#93 - Confessions of Flawed Parents

Jul 10, 2018 38:12

Description:

Today’s podcast is an exercise in vulnerability. We often say we are flawed and broken parents, but today we get specific! We hope you’ll relate as we discuss themes that creep up repeatedly in our family and inspire you to dig up your themes as well!

Talk about this:

Get out a pad of paper and write down your parenting flaws and/or themes.

How do those flaws impact your parenting?

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

#92 - Five Questions About Marriage

Jul 3, 2018 32:54

Description:

We had so much fun in Episode #91 going through your parenting questions, we decided to address some of the personal and/or bite sized inquires on marriage this week. We love hearing from you and hope our input on these questions is helpful!

What has been the toughest season for you as a couple? What is a piece of advice for couples married 5 to 10 years? What is the “secret sauce” for a good marriage? (Don’t give me a marriage book answer.) You talk about community alot - but what do you do when you aren’t part of a church? Or when your spouse doesn’t want to “connect with others? What do you think most newlyweds erroneously assume?

Related Links:

Episode # 44 - Getting Unstuck From Marriage Ruts

Episode #51 – 21 Bits of Advice for Newlyweds

Episode #11 – The Awkward Date Night

Episode # 7 – Don’t Do Life Alone

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

#91 - Five Questions About Parenting

Jun 26, 2018 33:28

Description:

As much as we try to address the assorted questions lobbed our way, sometimes we lag with the personal and/or bite-sized inquires. In today’s episode we are solving that problem with a handful of random, but hopefully helpful, questions you guys ask. Take a listen and, by all means, keep asking!

What do you say to a discouraged parent? What is something new you’ve learned? Where do you learn? Which is harder… the toddler years or the teenage years? How are you most “weird” as a family?

Related Links:

Episode # 8 – Is this really just a stage? 

Episode # 2 - A Warning About Parent Measurement

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

#90 - What New Parents Wish Grandparents Knew

Jun 19, 2018 39:26

Description:

You’re going to be a grandparent. Congratulations! This should be easy, like Parenting 2.0, right?

Not so fast. In this episode Billy and Joy discuss the tension filled moments between expectant parents and grandparents. They have compiled a list of best practices and ways to avoid the most common relationship pitfalls.

Talk about this:

Grandparents – process the topics discussed on the podcast that you haven’t reviewed already. Remember to get clarity about delivery and home visits and ask about their strategies.

Parents – make sure your have clarity on your hopes for the delivery and homecoming process and be ready to answer the question “how can I help?”

Related Links:

Defining your family story – podcast HERE

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

# 89 - Why married couples need single friends (& vise versa)

Jun 12, 2018 32:59

Description:

Have you ever noticed how often friendships drift apart after people get married? Why is this a consistent pattern? Why don’t friends stick around after the “I do” is said?

In this episode Billy and Joy discuss the benefit of having a diverse circle of friends whether you’re married or single. Take a listen!

Talk about this:

How well are we cultivating friendships with people who have a different marital status?

What "benefits" seem most applicable to our lives?

What "bad behavior" are we most likely to indulge?

Related Links:

Nearly & Newly Podcast Package HERE

Say Goodbye to Hollywood HERE

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

#88 - Practicing Vulnerability in Marriage

Jun 5, 2018 35:05

Description:

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow."  - Brene Brown

Wouldn’t it be great to be fully known and fully accepted? Isn’t that what love is all about? Isn’t it the ideal for marriage? Well, this kind of love doesn’t happen without a serious dose of vulnerability!

So how do we build this habit into our relationships? That’s the topic of today’s podcast. Take a listen!

Talk about this:

How well do you think we do on the vulnerability continuum?

When do you feel most safe to describe your feelings?

What makes you feel like I have listened well to you?

Related Links:

Episode #84 - Getting to the bottom of disagreements

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

#87 - Anxiety & Kids

May 29, 2018 41:09

Description:

Have you noticed how many kids suffer from anxiety these days? Therapists are alarmed by the trend, experts can’t agree on the causes, and parents live with the threat daily. In this episode Billy and Joy discuss the probable causes of anxiety and leave you with some practical questions to consider as you raise your kids.

Talk about this:

What do we model in terms of our anxiety levels?
Do we fret? Are we "worriers?" Do we operate from a place of fear?
Are there fear and anxiety issues you need to deal with yourself?

What is our plan for ensuring our kids have a robust community?
Do we help them process the tension in the comparison game?
Do we encourage competition and achievement or elevate the higher value of relationships?

We have to ask ourselves, what's the price of striving in our families?
What would happen if we made it our AMBITION to lead quiet (er) lives?

Related Links

A sobering look from the NYTimes Magazine...HERE 

Lisa Damour’s book describes how anxiety impacts girls in her practice in her terrific book Untangled. Find it HERE 

All kinds of great material from David Thomas and the team at Dayspring - HERE 

Time Magazine profile of the anxiety issue teens face- HERE 

Some blame anxiety on the lack of play... read about it HERE

Our previous podcast on keeping family fun HERE

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

#86 - 60 Conversation Starters for Family Meal Time

May 22, 2018 34:04

Description:

Even though we know it’s important to have dinner together, after hustling the family to the table, it’s exhausting to guide a meaningful conversation. Where do you start? Who has the energy to form a strategy?

In this episode Billy and Joy jump-start the process with a structure and 60 questions (pdf attached) so you can make your time around the table meaningful.

Take a listen!

Related Links

8 Strategies For Getting Your Family Around The Table

Family Stories That Bind Us - NYT

The Secrets of Happy Families

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

#85 - Respond vs React: How to Keep Your Cool

May 15, 2018 36:15

Description:

Do you ever lose your cool? Have you ever felt like you have one nerve left and everyone is standing on it? If you’re like us, it’s easy to react to people and circumstances reflexively – to give full range to impatience, frustration, or anger.

In this episode Billy and Joy kick around the idea of responding rather than reacting to the things that bug us.

Take a listen and form some of your own opinions about their opinions!

Talk about this:

How often do I react to my kids versus respond to them?

What "Pause Phrases" can I use? (Practice them!)

What circumstances do I need to imagine in advance?

Where do I struggle to "assume good intentions?"

Related-ish Links

Malaphor examples

Getting to the bottom of disagreements – Episode #84 HERE

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

#84 - Getting to the bottom of disagreements

May 8, 2018 36:34

Description:

Have you ever found yourself arguing with your spouse about little things? Do you feel compelled to fight about your opinions or refuse to let go of insignificant slights? Every couple has their share of arguments, but they don’t need to turn into relationship-busting warfare.

In this episode, Billy and Joy offer a word picture for getting to the bottom of disagreements and hopefully give you something meaningful to discuss. Take a listen!

Talk about this:

On average, how many of our disagreements are dealing in “ground floor” material?

What can we do to better dig around in “ground floor” material?

What is most difficult for you in teaching your ground floor material to your spouse and/or in learning about their ground floor?

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

#83 - Leaving Space For Kids To Grow

May 1, 2018 31:17

Description:

How can you be sure if your kids are ready for new responsibilities? Are there risks involved when you over or under nurture them? How do you give more freedom to your kids?

Tackling these questions (plus a few more!). Take a listen!

Talk about this:

What is your tendency – to over or under nurture your kids? In what ways do you need to pivot or correct?

How well do you balance between encouraging your kids to be independent versus demanding they need to hit an adult standard or quality?

In what ways can you leave more room for your kids to grow in their ability to be more independent? 

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

#82 - Tips for Making Summer Great

Apr 24, 2018 29:01

Description:

Are you excited about your kids being out of school this summer? Or does the summer schedule wreak havoc on your family life?  Even though it feels like we have barely defrosted from winter, the days of grilling, swimming, and sunscreen will be here before you know it.

If you’re like many parents, the change of routine has its blessings and curses. On this episode Billy and Joy give some practical tips for making summer fun with just a little bit of effort. Have a listen! 

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

#81 - Creating a Grateful Family

Apr 17, 2018 28:55

Description:

Have you ever felt like your kids aren’t grateful for what they have or what they experience? Do you ever feel like they live with a distasteful attitude of demandingness? Perhaps you see this tendency in yourself?

In this episode Billy and Joy discuss the benefits of having an attitude of gratitude and some practical ways to build the habit of thankfulness in your family. 

Talk about this:

How well do I (personally) communicate gratitude? and how well is our family overall at cultivating attitudes of gratitude?

Where are your family "pinch points?" What parts of our family environment need to look different and what habits do we need to cultivate?

Related-ish Links

Episode #17 – Creating a Plan For Money & Allowance With Your Kids 

Do guys or girls make better sound effects? Check out the video HERE

 

#80 - 10 Lies About Marriage

Apr 10, 2018 36:31

Description:

What if what you believe about marriage is a lie? Would you want to know the truth in advance?

In today’s episode Billy and Joy step through 10 common lies about marriage. Perhaps we should issue a #spoileralert

Talk about this:

Which lies are we most susceptible to believe?

Depending on your answer, have MORE conversations about those topics!

For marriage veterans, which lies did we miss?

Related-ish links:

In case you want the same toilet paper as Beyonce… shop Renova here.

Both quotes from this episode come from Tim Keller’s book, The Meaning of Marriage

We mention several back episodes of Between Parents

#35 – Four Terrible (But Really Romantic) Marriage Thoughts 

#45 - Let's Talk About Sex: Marriage Edition

#7 – Don’t Do Life Alone

Also remember:

Check out our new website @betweenparentspodcast.com

Also, tag someone who you think would like this episode on one of the socials! Or leave a review! It’s an easy way to invest in others and we really appreciate the support!

You can find us @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. We love hearing from you!!

#79 - How Do You Know If You're Winning?

Apr 3, 2018 32:56

Description:

Everyone keeps score. Our brains are hard-wired to categorize even when it comes to grading our children or marriages. So when someone asks, “how are you doing” what do you use for your scorecard?

In this episode Billy and Joy discuss the perils of focusing on micro gauges and limiting our evaluations to tangible measures. If you are walking through challenging days, you will definitely appreciate this discussion.

Talk about this:

How do you we currently "score" our family or marriage? How confident are we in the criteria we are using?

What SHOULD we be using to score our relationships?

Related link:

We love Seth Godin – his blog is here…do yourself a solid and check him out!

#78 - The Best Way to De-Stress Your Family

Mar 27, 2018 38:20

Description:

Stress makes every area of life more difficult, but it’s particularly challenging in families. The good news is, there’s an antidote. In this episode Billy and Joy tee up one simple, yet challenging, approach.

Related-ish Links

Essentialism by Greg McKeown found here

NY Times Article On Mommy Wine Culture here

Mary Poppins – Let’s go fly a kite! Behind the scenes here.

Albert Einstein… " When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge."

Find other episodes on play here …Check out #10, 33, and 62

Talk about this:

Are we stressed? If so, then check the gauges and find the cause?
How can we have more PLAY in our life?

What are the obstacles keeping us from play that we need to push through?

Also remember:

Tag someone who you think would like this podcast on one of the socials! Leave a review! It’s an easy way to invest in others and we really appreciate the support!

You can find us @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. We love hearing from you!!

#77 - The Danger of Building Your Life Around Your Kids

Mar 20, 2018 45:01

Description:

Have you ever felt like your children rule your life? Of COURSE they require a ton of care and nurturing, but have they become the core of your family? The temptation to build the family around the kids is one of the easiest things for parents to slip into. In this episode Billy and Joy discuss the dangers of child-centric parenting and how to see if you’re inadvertently living that life!

This may be one of those episodes where you disagree with our thoughts, but hopefully it will get you talking!

Related-ish links:

Psychology Today talks about narcissism here… 

We mention a few previous episodes that expand on these topics.  Links below... 

Episode 4 – Practical Steps For Prioritizing Marriage

Episode 31 – Erasing Fear From Parenting

Episode 32 – 6 Crucial Practices Before Becoming Parents

Talk about this:

It's likely all of us have some child-centric habits - so this week's "play along with us at home" questions are... in what areas do you make your kids the center of your world? how can we make practical changes to move them from the center?

Also remember:

Tag someone who you think would like this podcast on one of the socials! Leave a review! It’s an easy way to invest in others and we really appreciate the support!

You can find us @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. We love hearing from you!!

#76 - 15 Things Husbands Really Want Their Wives To Know

Mar 13, 2018 35:32

Description:

In our last episode Joy detailed her list of what wives really want their husbands to know, so now it’s Billy’s turn. Of COURSE this list isn’t all-inclusive and, to be sure, some of it may not be relevant to you (especially #9), but hey – it’s a great start!

Talk about this:

Wives, ask your husbands if any of these reflect his feelings!

Also remember…

Tag someone who you think would like this podcast on one of the socials! Leave a review! It’s an easy way to invest in others and we really appreciate the support!

 

#75 - 15 Things wives really want their husbands to know

Mar 6, 2018 33:56

Description:

While there’s no instruction manual for marriage, it’s not uncommon for spouses to have a mental “wish list” of things they wish their spouse understood. In this week’s episode Joy has taken a stab at fifteen such “things.” Maybe you’ll agree - -maybe you won’t. Either way, it should prompt some good discussion!

Guys – don’t worry. Next week Billy will have a chance to share his list!

Talk about this:

Husbands, ask your wives if any of these things reflect her feelings!

Also remember…

Sharing is caring! If you enjoy Between Parents, please share with your friends. Tag someone on the “socials” or repost. We are on Facebook @betweenparentspodcast and you can chat back with us on Instagram @betweenparents or on Twitter @between_parents

#74 - Six Expectations For Parents

Feb 27, 2018 31:04

Description:

What did you think life would be like when you became a parent? What were your hopes and dreams? What did you expect from your kids and your experience?

Whatever your answer, there’s tremendous power in those expectations. In today’s episode Billy and Joy talk through lesser known, but realistic expectations every parent should have.

Talk about this:

Which of these expectations is most challenging for you to manage and why?

Also remember…

Sharing is caring! If you enjoy Between Parents, please share with your friends. Tag someone on the “socials” or repost. We are on Facebook @betweenparentspodcast and you can chat back with us on Instagram @betweenparents or on Twitter @between_parents

#73 - Enjoying the Middle School Years

Feb 20, 2018 38:12

Description:

What is it about Middle School that makes everything feel so awkward? Is it the rush of hormones? Is it the lack of executive reasoning? Is it because parents are put off by the goofiness or hygiene?

Yes to all of the above. Still, with a little patience and a plan, the Middle School season can be AMAZING. Take a listen and see for yourself.

Talk about this:

What are we currently doing that seems out of step with our middle schooler's developmental reality?

Where do we need to improve our plan?

Also remember…

Sharing is caring! If you enjoy Between Parents, please share with your friends. Tag someone on the “socials” or repost. We are on Facebook @betweenparentspodcast and you can chat back with us on Instagram @betweenparents or on Twitter @between_parents

Finally - remember to tag your social media posts with #middleschoolawesomeness and #betweenparents

#72 - Eight things to do before you get married

Feb 13, 2018 36:21

Description:

In the throws of new love, dating, and then engagement, it’s easy to lose sight of what it takes to start a marriage well. What do you need to focus on and what needs to be minimized? In this episode Billy and Joy discuss eight things every couple should do before tying the knot!

Related Links:

Our conversation about how family of origin impacts marriage HERE

Talk about this:

If you're engaged or dating someone, which of the 8 steps are you missing? What's the next thing you could do to make your way through the list?

If you're already married, it's not too late to address many of the issues on this list...which ones do you feel like you would benefit your relationship now?

Also remember…

Sharing is caring! If you enjoy Between Parents, please share with your friends. Tag someone on the “socials” or repost. We are on Facebook @betweenparentspodcast and you can chat back with us on Instagram @betweenparents or on Twitter @between_parents

#72 - Eight things to do before you get married

Feb 13, 2018

Description:

In the throws of new love, dating, and then engagement, it’s easy to lose sight of what it takes to start a marriage well. What do you need to focus on and what needs to be minimized? In this episode Billy and Joy discuss eight things every couple should do before tying the knot!

Related Links:

Our conversation about how family of origin impacts marriage HERE

Talk about this:

If you're engaged or dating someone, which of the 8 steps are you missing? What's the next thing you could do to make your way through the list?

If you're already married, it's not too late to address many of the issues on this list...which ones do you feel like you would benefit your relationship now?

Also remember…

Sharing is caring! If you enjoy Between Parents, please share with your friends. Tag someone on the “socials” or repost. We are on Facebook @betweenparentspodcast and you can chat back with us on Instagram @betweenparents or on Twitter @between_parents

#71 - Showing Emotion To Your Kids

Feb 6, 2018 31:22

Description:

How well do you share your feelings with your kids? Are you an over or an under sharer? Vulnerability is challenging, but the best place for your kids to learn this life skill is with you. Today’s episode is all about why your kids need to see how you engage with the world (AND them) emotionally.

Talk about this:

Do I withhold the emotional side of my thoughts from my kids? If so, why?

What topics or tension points would benefit from me sharing an extra 20% of my emotions?

Related Links:

If you want to learn more about forgiving your kids, check out Between Parents episode # 22 - HERE

Also remember…

Sharing is caring! If you enjoy Between Parents, please share with your friends. Tag someone on the “socials” or repost. We are on Facebook @betweenparentspodcast and you can chat back with us on Instagram @betweenparents or on Twitter @between_parents

#70 - 5 Ground Rules For Marriage Communication

Jan 30, 2018 27:46

Description:

In marriage awesome communication doesn’t just happen. It’s not like falling off a bike; it’s something you work for. Can you make the process easier? Where do you begin? In this episode, Billy and Joy suggest you start with five essential ground rules. Take a listen!

Talk about this:

Where do we think our current communication patterns came from? Is that a good or bad thing?

Are there any ground rules we don't routinely observe? How can we do better?

Are there other ground rules we need to discuss and establish? If so, what are they?

Related Links:

Awkward Date Nights – article HERE podcast #11 HERE

He speaks / She speaks article from Psychology Today HERE

Also remember…

Between Parents is now on SPOTIFY!!! Yup… So if you’re recommending this podcast to someone who may not be using more typical podcast platforms, send them over to Spotify!! Of course you can still find us on Apple podcasts, SoundCloud, Tune-In (use this platform from Alexa – so cool!), Overcast, and Stitcher. If for some reason you can’t find us on a different platform, please let us know and we’ll chase it down!

Between Parents is on “The Socials” too!

Of course we are on Facebook. If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

#69 - Helping Kids Face Their Fears

Jan 23, 2018 34:43

Description:

What do you feel when your kid is afraid? Frustrated? Embarrassed? Does it make you fearful as well? How do you respond to their fears? Do you push them? Or do you let them be?

This episode kicks around those topics and gives you a few things to talk about with the people in your life.

Talk about this:

1 - Are our child's fears age and developmentally appropriate? (Google age milestones!) - If not, make a plan for getting professional help - EVERYONE WILL BE HAPPIER IF YOU ADDRESS THE ISSUE!

2 - Take a close look at YOUR behavior and ask yourself - are we too accommodating? are we anxious? are we impatient or easily frustrated by our kid's fears?

3 - MAKE A PLAN - how can we practice gradually introducing our kids to the things they fear?

Related Links:

Psychology Today article on helping kids with fears as mentioned in this episode - HERE

An academic article on anxiety disorders - HERE 

Wall St Journal article on how parents can make things worse for kids - HERE

Also remember…

Between Parents is now on SPOTIFY!!! Yup… So if you’re recommending this podcast to someone who may not be using more typical podcast platforms, send them over to Spotify!! Of course you can still find us on Apple podcasts, SoundCloud, Tune-In (use this platform from Alexa – so cool!), Overcast, and Stitcher. If for some reason you can’t find us on a different platform, please let us know and we’ll chase it down!

Between Parents is on “The Socials” too!

Of course we are on Facebook. If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

FINALLY – leave us a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes). This is a SUPER helpful way for increasing our reach and helping others find us. #sharingiscaring ; )

Thanks for listening!

# 68 - Six Life Lessons For Kids

Jan 16, 2018 35:03

Description:

Pick up your toys! Brush your teeth! Stop screaming!

As much as we would love to think our daily corrections add up to deep, important foundations with our kids, we aren’t fully convinced. On today’s podcast we take the conversation up to a bird’s-eye-view and discuss broad life lessons we want to pass along. While the list isn’t comprehensive, it will get you off to a good start of thinking about what matters in your family.

Here’s our six:

Life is difficult - Effort is required

Life is unfair - People can be mean and the world isn't out to keep you happy

Life is scary - Courage and vulnerability is required.

Life is unforgiving - Some consequences are non-negotiable

Life is bigger than you - Avoid self-centeredness

Life is short - Look higher than just this life

Talk about this:

What's on your 'life is..." list?

What lessons would you like to "turn up" in your parenting?

What are the opportunities (times, places) to advance these conversations?

Also remember…

Between Parents is now on SPOTIFY!!! Yup… So if you’re recommending this podcast to someone who may not be using more typical podcast platforms, send them over to Spotify!! Of course you can still find us on Apple podcasts, SoundCloud, Tune-In (use this platform from Alexa – so cool!), Overcast, and Stitcher. If for some reason you can’t find us on a different platform, please let us know and we’ll chase it down!

Between Parents is on “The Socials” too!

Of course we are on Facebook. If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

FINALLY – leave us a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes). This is a SUPER helpful way for increasing our reach and helping others find us. #sharingiscaring ; )

Thanks for listening!

#67 - Respect in Marriage

Jan 9, 2018 39:23

Description:

While most people think marriage should be marked by unconditional love, the idea of unconditional respect isn’t usually a “thing.” Why is that? Is it possible to love when you don’t give your spouse unconditional respect? Billy and Joy chat about how respect impacts your marriage.

Talk about this:

What do I do that makes you feel MOST respected?

Do I have any habits that make you feel disrespected?

What specific practices or habits can WE do to foster better avenues to convey respect for each other?

Also remember…

Between Parents is now on SPOTIFY!!! Yup… So if you’re recommending this podcast to someone who may not be using more typical podcast platforms, send them over to Spotify!! Of course you can still find us on Apple podcasts, SoundCloud, Tune-In (use this platform from Alexa – so cool!), Overcast, and Stitcher. If for some reason you can’t find us on a different platform, please let us know and we’ll chase it down!

Between Parents is on “The Socials” too!

Of course we are on Facebook. If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

FINALLY – leave us a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes). This is a SUPER helpful way for increasing our reach and helping others find us. #sharingiscaring ; )

Thanks for listening!

#66 - Picking schools for your kids

Dec 26, 2017 40:47

Description:

Are you stressed about where your kids will go to school?
Do you often find yourself in conversations (debates?) about public or private schools? Do you ever feel guilty that you do or don’t homeschool?

On today’s podcast Billy and Joy suggest a framework for evaluating your options. You MAY hate what they say, but you might also find it helpful. In any case, have a listen!

Talk about this:

Rate your emotions around the schooling topic. Do you or your spouse feel the need to dial it back?

How do you think you can stay open-handed around the process?

As you consider your options, run the options through the Product/Process/Fit grid. 

Also remember…

Between Parents is now on SPOTIFY!!! Yup… So if you’re recommending this podcast to someone who may not be using more typical podcast platforms, send them over to Spotify!! Of course you can still find us on Apple podcasts, SoundCloud, Tune-In (use this platform from Alexa – so cool!), Overcast, and Stitcher. If for some reason you can’t find us on a different platform, please let us know and we’ll chase it down!

Between Parents is on “The Socials” too!

Of course we are on Facebook. If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

FINALLY – leave us a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes). This is a SUPER helpful way for increasing our reach and helping others find us. #sharingiscaring ; )

Thanks for listening!

 

#65 - Balancing Freedom & Responsibility

Dec 19, 2017 34:17

Description:

Have you ever noticed how quickly kids disconnect their desire for freedom with their ability to be responsible? In today’s podcast Billy and Joy offer some tips for making sure there’s a link between what a child wants and their ability to assume responsibility.

“Freedom makes a huge requirement of every human being. With freedom comes responsibility. For the person who is unwilling to grow up, the person who does not want to carry his own weight, this is a frightening prospect.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt

Talk about this:

What do you tend to do... grant freedoms too easily (potentially without maturity to handle them) or withhold freedoms too long (causing frustration and arrested development)? What signs of maturity need to be in place to justify our kids ASKS these days? Are these conversations/negotiations happening in a healthy way? If not, how might they?

Also remember…

Between Parents is now on SPOTIFY!!! Yup… So if you’re recommending this podcast to someone who may not be using more typical podcast platforms, send them over to Spotify!! Of course you can still find us on Apple podcasts, SoundCloud, Tune-In (use this platform from Alexa – so cool!), Overcast, and Stitcher. If for some reason you can’t find us on a different platform, please let us know and we’ll chase it down!

Between Parents is on “The Socials” too!

Of course we are on Facebook. If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

FINALLY – leave us a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes). This is a SUPER helpful way for increasing our reach and helping others find us. #sharingiscaring ; )

Thanks for listening!

 

#64 Talking to your kids about temptation

Dec 12, 2017 35:42

Description:

How do you teach your kids to delay gratification? How do you articulate why waiting for something is better than having it immediately? What’s your plan for equipping your children for dealing with a lifetime of temptation?

In this episode Billy and Joy review approaches to these questions and encourage you to keep taming the appetites that can control old and young alike! 

Talk about this:

What is my kids’ unique “temptation profile” these days? What tempts them most?

What is their ability to say NO these days? Am I dialed in on if I am asking too much or too little of my child based on his/her age and development?

How open do I think my kids are to talking to me about what tempts them? What can I do to normalize this conversation?

What can I do in this season to help them build up the muscle to fight temptation?

Related Links:

Marshmallow test author interview here.

A look at how US kids compare to kids in Cameron here

Also remember… 

Between Parents is now on SPOTIFY!!! Yup… So if you’re recommending this podcast to someone who may not be using more typical podcast platforms, send them over to Spotify!! Of course you can still find us on Apple podcasts, SoundCloud, Tune-In (use this platform from Alexa – so cool!), Overcast, and Stitcher. If for some reason you can’t find us on a different platform, please let us know and we’ll chase it down!

Between Parents is on “The Socials” too!

Of course we are on Facebook. If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

#63 - Coming to grips with imperfection

Dec 5, 2017 34:20

Description:

When our kids are little, it’s easy to understand how attitudes and dispositions are “just a phase.” But somewhere between 10-14 there’s a shift and we recognize that a “phase” may actually be a more permanent feature. In today’s episode Billy and Joy discuss settling up with our kid’s flaws and adjusting our approach to the kids we have, not to the kids we dreamed about!

Talk about this:

Are there any areas where we need to acknowledge that our kids "phase" is something closer to part of their hard wiring?

What can you do to prepare to parent your "imperfect" kids with the right balance of acceptance and coaching?

How often do I work under the subliminal pressure that my kid (or kids) must be perfect? Where does that come from? How can I find a healthier stance?

Also remember…

We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, and TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa), Between Parents is now on SoundCloud! You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

#62 - 101 Fun things to do as a family

Nov 28, 2017 35:30

Description:

Bored much? Tapped out of ideas for family fun?

Well, THIS episode will solve that problem! Check out 101 things your family can do together. Some are aspirational and will take focused attention (#72) while others are easy to accomplish any day of the week (#28, 33, or 83).

Here's the list for easy reference.

1

Have a Photo scavenger hunt - (Example here)

2

Moms - Let your daughter do your hair or makeup

3

Play hide and seek

4

Memorize the lyrics to a song that you can all sing together

5

Have a pet and let the kids name it.

6

Shoot baskets in crazy ways

7

Use every single Lego in the house to build something

8

Rearrange the furniture for movie night

9

Let the kids cook dinner (and tell them you love it!)

10

Make friends with the neighbors and bake them treats!

11

Plan secret missions and execute them together (donut drops, balloons)

12

Go fruit pickin' together (strawberries, blueberries, apples) then make dessert!

13

Have coloring book nights

14

Conduct entire conversations using nothing but GIFs for an entire day (bonus for a week)

15

Have "team day" where everyone dresses head-to-toe in the team colors

16

Let the kids show you how to get somewhere... (airport, school, grocery store)

17

Deconstruct an electronic device and figure out how it works.

18

Sleep outside

19

Cook over a fire (s'mores count, but try hotdogs too!)

20

Explore your hometown and let different family members pick the places to go.

21

Let the kids pump the gas (or wash the car windows)

22

Make sure everyone knows how to sew buttons on their shirts!

23

Keep a list/jar/book of blessings

24

Let your kids plan an entire day when you travel

25

Draw pictures on each others hands

26

Use nicknames as often as possible

27

Go to a midnight showing of a favorite movie franchise

28

Have a burping contest

29

Find a way to help some friends anonymously (rake a yard, wash their car...)

30

Illustrate a book IN the book ... make your own illustrations

31

Edit a family video together

32

Dog sit (or HORSE sit for bonus points)

33

Dance party! (duh...)

34

Create a chalk/white board for inspirational/encouraging sayings (here's ours)

35

Speak with an accent for an entire meal

36

Bring cookies to your local fire or police station

37

Let your kid run your workouts!

38

Pray at meals where the kids lead

39

Create family collections (bugs, tickets, spoons, etc.)

40

Geocache!!! (This is a GPS scavenger hunt - link here)

41

Ride a train or subway for no purpose except to ride!

42

Watch Singing in the Rain -- then SING in the rain ASAP!

43

Listen to a podcast together and talk about it.

44

Have a running joke.

45

Find a public place where you can spray paint together (legally!) - go crazy

46

Do the target challenge -- to find the MOST interesting thing for under $3 -

47

Stay for movie credits and look for a specific, random name. We look for "Carl.”

48

Make your own bread, pizza, and ice cream at least once.

49

Watch Elf once a year and quote every favorite line together every single time.

50

Plant something from seed and watch it grow. Bonus points for a mystery seed!

51

Save a baby tooth and show your older kids how it dissolves in soda.

52

Build at least one piece of furniture for your home.

53

Put lights up outside.

54

Hike a local trail.

55

Serve a meal in the form of a face.

56

Host a guest from a foreign country.

57

Start a water balloon fight on the last day of school.

58

Save the wishbone from that roasted chicken, dry it, and then make a wish!

59

Have a TV show you watch together as a family.

60

Buy a canvas and paint something - hang it in the house.

61

Serve dinner by candlelight monthly.

62

Once a year work a puzzle together.

63

Jump into a pool/lake/ocean with your clothes on!

64

Wear a costume out in public when it's NOT Halloween.

65

Tell a story a fun about the grandparents at dinner.

66

Surprise each other with balloons.

67

Put a note with a favorite treat into each other's lunch.

68

Celebrate a random holiday (Flag Day, Earth Day - for us Guy Fawkes w/ bon fire - MLK jr day with photo scavenger hunt) with customized family traditions

69

Go doorbell ditching (to friendlies!)

70

Have a whipped cream fight (preferably with another family!)

71

Sponsor a child thru compassion international (and write letters!)

72

Visit all 50 states

73

Decorate each other's doors to celebrate personal victories!

74

Each breakfast for dinner on a regular basis

75

Listen to an audio book on a long drive

76

Have a secret handshake

77

Race popsicle sticks down the gutters on a rainy (no lightening) day.

78

Create family award night during "award season" (Jan - March) - and customize your own awards for things like "best performance in an awkward situation" or "best spill..."

79

Go to a local high school event - play, sporting event, concert BEFORE your kids are old enough to actually attend said school

80

Take 10 year old trips

81

Invite the neighborhood over for a potluck (everyone brings a dish) -- set up on the driveway if necessary!

82

Read a book out loud together. Take turns reading chapters for older kids or picture books for younger kids

83

Spend an evening playing the Wikipedia game (link here)- also see EP# 10

84

Plan your own 5K and make t-shirts

85

Have "classic movie nights" with the parents showing kids their favorite flick.

86

Let the kids introduce the parents to their favorite video game.

87

Read about a different culture then visit a restaurant that serves that food.

88

Have a family pedicure night - complete with foot soaking!

89

Explore a new part of town on a rented bike

90

Do a regular family service project in your community

91

Plan a board/card game night

92

Allow the kids to plan and serve the grown ups with a menu they design - and serve - and be sure to light the candles!

93

Bake AND decorate sugar cookies WITH sprinkles

94

Have a non-device day and just see what you can do with boredom!

95

Wash the car together and end with a water fight!!!

96

Invite the neighborhood out for a competitive game of kick the can.

97

Spend a day on the beach building sand castles and then celebrate when the waves crash them in!

98

Produce a family and/or neighborhood talent show.

99

Have every person print out a favorite picture from the previous year and make a collage on canvas or wood.

100

Play "punch bug" - slugging OR tapping each other when you see a VW beetle

101

BONUS - make a habit of taking family jump shots together - tag w/betweenparents

 

Also remember…

We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, and TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa), Between Parents is now on SoundCloud! You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

#61 - When is it time to quit?

Nov 21, 2017 32:57

Description:

Do you ever feel like your calendar is the boss of you? Do you ever wonder how you became so over-committed? In this week’s podcast Billy & Joy discuss one family’s process and discovery of knowing when to quit.

Links:

Knowing When to Quit – article here

LA really is a doughnut heaven! - check out this article or google for yourself ; ) 

Talk about this:

What do we want outside family activity to provide? What can't it provide (that WE should be responsible for)?

What are we willing to give (the cost) to get the benefit (the value)?

Will (or DO) our kids know the benefit? Can they verbalize it to us currently?

What will we do if we need to edit our plan?

Also remember…

We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, Stitcher, and TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa), Between Parents is now on SoundCloud AND Google Play! You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents .

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

#60 - What to do when spouses annoy

Nov 14, 2017 32:05

Description:

When you live in close proximity to someone, particularly a spouse, eventually that person will annoy you. What do you do with this irritation? Is it avoidable? Is there a way to short-circuit the process and not be so easily frustrated? Billy & Joy serve up some ideas in this episode, so have a listen!

Talk about this:

Today's question is REALLY high on the vulnerability scale - Perhaps it's good for an awkward date night (episode #11) - but this question is WORTH the awkwardness...three ground rules:
Ask sincerely
Listen without being defensive
If necessary, close by apologizing

Ready? Here you go… ask your spouse, “When are you most likely to you feel that I am annoyed by you?”

Also remember…

We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, and TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa), Between Parents is now on SoundCloud! You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

#59 - Ten Parent Profiles - Which Will You Be?

Nov 7, 2017 37:45

Description:

Imagine a teacher, coach, or neighbor describing your parenting profile, what terms would they use? Are they positive or negative descriptions? In this episode Billy and Joy review ten parenting profiles – five negative and five positive. Think of them as coins with a distinct flip side! However, when if comes to parenting, YOU get to pick what side your coin lands on. What do you choose? Are you…

The Complaining Parent or The Uplifting Parent?
The Panic Parent or The Measured Parent?
The Competitive Parent or The Celebratory Parent?
The Gossip Parent or The Quiet Parent?
The Chaos Parent or the Calm Parent?

Lots of things to talk about here! Take a listen.

Talk about this:

Which type of parent are you most likely to become? Don't just answer for yourself -- ask your spouse/friend what type they think you're most likely to become?

How are those negative responses working for you really? What could be improved should you respond differently?

What are the triggers for your reaction?

How can you build in new, positive responses?

Related-ish note

The German word for taking joy in the trouble of others is Schadenfreude

Also remember…

We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, and TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa), Between Parents is now on SoundCloud! You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

#58 - A Parent's Most Fundamental Role

Oct 31, 2017 28:55

Description:

What does a parent do? This is a simple question, but can you boil the answer down to something clear and compelling? In today’s episode Billy and Joy kick around one classic word picture that’s timeless and encouraging for families even today.

Talk about this:

How do you define coaching in the context of your family... what kind of coach are you?

When is it most difficult for you to show up as a coach? (when you wake up? walk down the road? etc.)

Also remember…

We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

#57 - Hurrying Home

Oct 24, 2017 31:12

Description:

Why is it so hard to get home from the office? What keeps us from racing home? In today’s episode Billy and Joy talk about some of the factors standing in our way and offer some reminders of things we can do differently.

Talk about this:

Do you REALLY believe your presence at home makes a difference?

Do you feel the urgency of waning days?

What are your unique factors in your particular season?

Related Links:

Pew Research Fathers Day Facts

Forbes Article -25 Biggest regrets 

Bronnie Ware – Top Five Regrets of the Dying 

Harvard Business Review – Long hours backfire for people and companies

Also remember…

We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

#56 - Dreading the thought of your kids growing up

Oct 17, 2017 32:21

Description:

Your kids are growing up fast. How does that make you feel? Are you excited? Do you dread the loss of the little years? In this episode Billy and Joy kick around some mental frameworks to help parents cope with loss and celebrate every childhood season.

Talk about this:

What leads me to try to hang on childhood in my kids?

What should I be looking forward to that I might be missing?

What are my goals for my kids when they are 15 years? 20 years? 25 years? (And what am I doing that will lead us there?)

Also remember…
We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

 

#55 - Can you affair proof your marriage?

Oct 10, 2017 47:06

Description:

Extra-marital affairs can be ruinous to marriage, family, and self-esteem and yet they are familiar parts many storylines. Is it possible to stop them from happening in the first place? In today’s episode Billy and Joy talk about factors that erode our relationship and what we should focus on to keep our marriage strong.

Talk about this:

How much do we talk about our temptations as a couple? How much do we talk about what concerns us? How can we be better?

In what areas might I/we be "eroding?"

Is there any practice or mindset that might leave us more exposed to having affairs?

Related links:

The Art of Manliness podcast #179 The Science of Cheating is excellent although NSFW due to topic. (here)

Pornography and broken relationships in Psychology Today (here)

Guardrails – Message 3 Forever Yours (here)

Also remember…
We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

#54 - Toddler 101: Parenting Through the Early Years

Oct 3, 2017 41:58

Description:

“Believe it or not, you will survive toddler hood.” People may tell you this, but some days it’s hard to believe. In this episode, Billy & Joy go through 20 practical tips for making the most of these very fast (and exhausting) years.

Here are the headlines:

Know the difference between asking questions versus making statements When you DO give choices (and you should) make sure you are happy with the options Pick your battles (especially over food, clothes, toys) Follow up on threats & promises Customize your discipline Value the time at the dinner table Figure out when you (the parent) are getting a break Get outside No electronics in the car, at the dinner table, or restaurant Practice emotions Have your core value statements in place Ask more questions than you answer Have a thick skin Pay attention fast Build in extra time Practice manners Use your words - keep them positive Remember to play Stay calm Pay attention to your marriage

Talk about this:

1 Which of these practices do we feel like we're doing well? Where can we improve?

2 What would YOU add to the list?

3 - If you have a toddler, whom are you leaning into for wisdom or community? What system do you have to connect with them?

Also remember…
We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

#53 - Parenting With A Positive Vision

Sep 26, 2017 36:16

Description:

Don’t think about elephants!

But what do you think about the moment you read the sentence? Yup… elephants!

The mind can’t process negatives so saying, “don’t” doesn’t help. Yet as parents telling our kids “don’t” do something is standard practice. Is it possible to give a more positive vision? Billy and Joy offer some practical ideas in today’s podcast.

Talk about this:

In what categories of my parenting do I seem to default to the defensive?

What are the "better visions" for my kids in the areas where they struggle?

What changes in time, schedule, and venues for discussion will help us grab this vision better?

Also remember…
We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

 

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

#52 - How Family of Origin Impacts Your Marriage

Sep 19, 2017 34:35

Description:

Have you ever looked at your spouse cross-eyed and wondered, “Why are you like that?” only to meet their family and then understand? In this episode Billy and Joy talk about how our family of origin impacts our marriage and why we need to get this connections out in the open. They discuss triggers and how to build empathy through understanding our background.

Talk about this:

How do you think your/my childhood home influences our home and marriage... for better or worse? What seems to be a specific tension for us? What tendencies are responses TOWARD upbringing? What tendencies are responses AWAY from upbringing? What is the healthiest way forward for use to address these tensions? What are some good prompts, agreements, or reminders we can use to short-cut the impact of the negative habits?

Also remember…
We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

 

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

#51 - 21 Bits of Advice For Newlyweds

Sep 12, 2017 34:17

Description:

Are you engaged or recently married? Do you know someone who is? Or have you been married for a while and forget all of the helpful newlywed tips? Take a listen as Joy & Billy review 21 quick bits of advice for how to get marriage off to a great start!

Spoiler… here’s the list!

Go to bed at the same time No device in the bedroom Do unpleasant tasks together Hang out a lot together. (Aim for inefficiency) Create shorthand triggers Nest together Practice your faith together Prioritize community Serve together Observe the 10-to-10 rule Think about “being kind” rather than “being nice” Avoid major cash outlays in the first year Also avoid major new time commitments Have a plan with the in-laws Give yourselves time to grow – pace yourself Commit to NO conversations in your head! But don’t say EVERYthing! Don’t lose yourself Date your spouse Sneakaway with your spouse Assume good intentions

Talk about this:

If you're a newlywed or engaged, review the ENTIRE list with your spouse/fiance and talk about which areas might be challenges for you.

If you've been married for a while talk to your spouse about which of these YOU find most challenging.

Also remember…
We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

 

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

#50 - Two Crucial Skills Every Kid Needs To Learn

Sep 5, 2017 32:57

Description:

Do you know the most important part your kid’s education process? In this week’s podcast Billy & Joy discuss Seth Godin's opinion that the best education focuses on just two things. Listen in and decide if you agree!

Seth Godin quote

“ Sooner or later parents have to take responsibility for putting their kids into a system that is indebting them and teaching them to be cogs in an economy that doesn’t want cogs anymore. Parents get to decide. I’m a huge fan of public school … But from 3 to 10 those kids are getting homeschooled, and they’re either getting homeschooled watching the Flintstones or they’re getting homeschooled in learning something useful. And I think we need to teach kids two things: one, how to lead, and two, how to solve interesting problems.

There are plenty of countries on earth where people are willing to be obedient and work harder for less money than us. So we cannot out-obedience the competition. Therefore we have to out lead or out solve the other people … who want whatever is scarce. The way you teach your kid to solve interesting problems is to give them interesting problems to solve. And then, don’t criticize them when they fail. Kids aren’t stupid. If they get in trouble every time they try to solve an interesting problem, they’ll just go back to getting an A by memorizing what’s in the textbook …

We don’t need to have them spend a lot of time getting good grades so they can get into a famous college, because famous colleges don’t work anymore. Famous colleges don’t work anymore. The point is, is there an entity that will have trouble living without you when you seek to earn a living? Because if there is, you’ll be able to make a living. If on the other hand you’re waiting in the placement office for someone to pick you, you will be persistently undervalued. “

Talk about this:

What are practical ways we can get our kids to practice leadership?

What are my tendencies that might undermine their leadership process?

What are interesting problem solving skills we can give our kids this week?

What are my tendencies that might undermine their problem-solving process?

Related Links:

Bats and turbines – read at your peril here

The Seth Godin conversation was originally found on the Tim Ferriss Podcast here

Also remember…
We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

 

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

#49 - Defining Your Family's Story

Aug 29, 2017 39:37

Description:

What if you had to summarize your life story in a few brief statements – what would you say? Consider the headlines of your life; milestones that rise to the level of being noted. What if you were to reverse engineer your life, how you raise your kids and the way you treat your marriage based on the milestones you want to hit? In today’s episode, Billy and Joy talk through four things to consider for your family's story.

Talk about this:

First - think about your story - how do you describe the milestones of your life? What do your sentences sound like?

NOW - talk to your spouse/friend/small group about the aspirational sentences you want your spouse/kid to say about your life.

Think about the categories about how you spent your time, attention, and resources.

Also remember…
We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

#48 - Is Criticism Killing Your Marriage?

Aug 22, 2017 34:51

Description:

No one likes to be picked at…but criticism is especially deadly in marriage. In this episode Billy & Joy challenge you to try and see your critical habits in the mirror and to consider the impact they have on your marriage.

Talk about this:

What critique hurts more than others?

What critiques feel like personal preferences?

What criticisms are good advice, but delivered poorly?

What topic/issue is most important to you?

How does your wiring impact the way you communicate?

Also remember…
We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends.

 

# 47 - Discussing Current Events With Kids

Aug 15, 2017 33:39

Description:

The world is a crazy place!

Like every generation before, today’s parents have to process difficult news with their kids. But where do we start? What do we say? How can we explain events we don’t fully understand?

In today’s podcast, Billy and Joy talk about principles parents should consider as they process current events with their kids. How do we lead our family well - and wisely - when we are emotionally charged ourselves?

Talk about this:

Are there any "general rules" we violate?

How well do we process current events as a family? How can we improve?

WHAT seems like it needs processing these days?

Also remember…
We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

 

#46 - Let's Talk About Sex: Parent Edition

Aug 8, 2017 54:31

Description:

Parents are often nervous about talking to their kids about sex. While this is natural, we need to shake off these nerves and jump into the discussion. But where do you begin? In this podcast Billy and Joy give some practical ideas of when to start and what to cover.

Talk about this:

For each of your kids ask, "What are our family priorities in terms of TIMING - CONTEXT - and CONTENT of what we want our kids to know about sex?"

Who are some people we can talk to and ask about their process of guiding their kids through this conversation?

Also remember…
We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

Thanks for listening and remember to share this podcast with your friends!

#45 - Let's Talk About Sex: Marriage Edition

Aug 1, 2017 38:25

Description:

Whether we acknowledge it or not, sex is more than just a physical act. In today’s episode, Billy and Joy discuss nine intimacy principles that impact every relationship and then they tee up a list of questions that should open the flow of communication. Take a listen and, more importantly, have a chat!

Talk about this:

What eternal factors seem to affect our sex life the most … (schedule, low energy, distractions are a few suggestions)? What are some ideas to manage them? What from our past (individually or together) seems to affects our sex life the most? What are ideas to deal with them in a healthy way? What impact does body image plays into our sex life? With 10 being “best ever” and 1 being “very poor,” how would you rate our communication about the feelings / thoughts regarding our sex life? What are some ways that we can communicate better? What are some things you enjoy most about our sex life? What could I do to help you enjoy it more? Is there something you desire sexually that I can help fulfill? Are there moments you are uncomfortable sexually? If so, what can I do to help? What boundaries do we or should we have in place to protect our intimacy? What role do you think that our natural wirings (either as male, female, or simply individuals) play into our sexual desires or habits? How well does our sex life fit into your expectations? Are there things we need to do differently to better manage our expectations? If so, what are they? 

Also remember…
We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

#44 - Getting Unstuck From Marriage Ruts

Jul 25, 2017 37:19

Description:

Writer Stephen Covey said, "The enemy of the 'best' is often the 'good.'" This is certainly true in marriage as couples often lose what’s best while they do what’s good. In this episode Billy and Joy discuss how marriages often develop ruts and how couples can make changes to keep relationships fresh. 

Talk about this:

What are your ruts?
What do you miss?
What do you wish you did more of / less of?
What is your plan to jump out of ruts?

Related(ish) Links:

Table Talk Conversation Starters - here

Also remember…
We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

#43 - Harnessing The Power of Indelible Words

Jul 18, 2017 34:25

Description:

Our words are powerful, particularly as we use them with our kids. In this episode, Billy & Joy talk through a strategy of how to use words well and how to avoid common pitfalls in our families. They talk about the danger in making comparison statements and how to make statements that will be memorable (in a good way!)

Talk about this:

In light of where your kids are CURRENTLY... what message do they need most from you?

What are some creative ways to deliver that message?

What (if any) unintended messages are you most at risk of sending? How do you prevent them?

Related link:

Elizabeth Smart TED talk is here.

Also remember…
We are on Facebook! If you like AND follow the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

#42 - (Arguably) The Most Powerful Question in Marriage

Jul 4, 2017 24:21

Description:

Did you pick up the dry cleaning? Have you walked the dog? Did you pay the bill? Every day we ask our spouse a list of questions, but most of them don’t impact our relationship. On this episode, Billy and Joy talk about one question that has the ability to improve EVERY relationship.

Take a listen and ask your spouse this simple, impactful question!

Talk about this:

What are your least favorite family chores/activities?
What chores feel tedious?

How well do we notice when our spouse needs help?

AND FINALLY….

How can I help?

Also remember…
We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

 

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

#41 - 21 Conversation Starters For Families

Jul 4, 2017 10:07

Description:

Are you stuck in a car? Delayed at an airport? Or maybe you need a few questions to pick up a lagging conversation around the dinner table. Here are some favorite conversation starters.  These questions are perfect for the family (or a date night)! So keep the pause button handy or just refer to the list below.

1. Cast your family in a movie, who is playing each person?

2. Your radio/phone is broken and you can only play one song for a day/week/year what would it be?

3. You are moving to a new city and you have to change your look ENTIRELY - hair, clothes, style- what "look" do you do?

4. What picture do you like best of yourself when you were little?

5. If you could add one person to our family for a year, who would it be? why?

6. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

7. What makes you happy?

8. Your cat/dog/pet is describing your family to others, what does it say?

9. It's your birthday! You're going to celebrate like a kindergartner - what will you plan?

10. The house is on fire! All people, pets, photographs, and phones are safe. You can grab five things. What do you take?

11. Fill in the blank: I wish our family did more ______.

12. Fill in the blank: I wish our family did less ______.

13. Describe yourself to someone you've never met what do you say? (EXTRA CHALLENGE - the person is blind so physical features don't matter!)

14. You're going to live in a remote cabin for a year -- you have basic living supplies, but no entertainment or luxuries. You can bring a backpack worth of things with you (nothing requiring power) - what do you pack?

15. You can get rid of one physical thing in the world, what would it be?

16. What do you like best about yourself?

17. What do you think is really cool in nature?

18. You can only eat one style of food for a year - breakfast, lunch, AND dinner - what kind of food would you choose?

19. If you could live in someone else's shoes for a week, who would you pick and why?

20. You have $1,000,000 to give away, but you couldn't give it to anyone in your family AND you have to give it to at least 3 people and/or organizations. Who would you give it to and why?

21. And finally - the bonus question -- You are a superhero... What is your superpower?

Here's to some great conversations!!  Have fun and let us know how it goes. You can chat back to us on instagram @betweenparents or on Facebook @betweenparentspodcast.  

Please share with your friends - subscribe - and leave a review. Thanks so much!!

#40 - The Piece Of Data That Blew Our Minds

Jun 27, 2017 33:12

Description:

In this episode Billy & Joy discuss the fact from the blog post, The Tail End, that points out that by the time you graduate from high school you will have used 93% of the face-to-face time you have with your parents.

Feel free to re-read that sentence. Doesn’t that stop you in your tracks?

What are the implications to this fact? Get the conversation started with this episode.

Talk about this: 

How intentional are your priorities? What needs to change?

In what moments, environments, and practices does conversation & connection flourish? When and where is it a challenge?

Imagine that moment your kids pack up and head to college. What does that moment look and feel like if it is regret-free?

Related(ish) Links:

Shoe-tossing as per Wikipedia

Tim Urban blog post The Tail End

Tim Ferriss interview quote.

Calendar Countdown apps here.

Also remember…
We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

#39 - Discovering Your Default Operating Systems

Jun 20, 2017 36:07

Description:

By the time we reach adulthood everyone has fully developed Operating Systems. These systems are the way we engage with the world in a kind of reflexive manner. They are a well-crafted blend of nature AND nurture and are perfect for achieving the results we are currently experiencing. But because these systems operate in the background, we don’t always recognize what’s working and what’s not. In this episode Billy and Joy tee up a few ideas for identifying our systems and for getting insights into our blind spots.

Also remember…
We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast 

Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

#38 -Keystone Habits of Healthy Families

Jun 13, 2017 36:41

Description:

We all have habits. We all do little things daily that add up to something bigger than we expect. In this episode Billy and Joy talk about Charles Duhigg’s concepts around Keystone Habits and how little efforts can make a big difference in our relationships and with our families. Take a listen and find small victories you can have with little changes! 

Talk about this:

What ills do you see in your marriage / family that might improve in the presence of a good keystone habit?

What Keystone habits do you ALREADY do?

What others might you try adding on?

Remember – just introduce one new habit at a time!!

Related Links:

If you love this topic, we highly recommend Charles Duhigg’s book, The Power of Habit. 

Listen to Duhigg’s TED Talk here.

The Jerry Seinfeld “Don’t Break The Chain” calendar explained here.  

Also remember…
We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Have you left a review on iTunes? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with iTunes, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

 

# 37 - Three job descriptions of a parent

Jun 6, 2017 32:35

Description:

Unfortunately children don’t come with an owner’s manual and parents aren’t given a detailed job description. Is it any wonder raising kids can be confusing? In this episode Billy and Joy talk about three parts of a parent’s job which clarify what it is we are really doing with our kids!

Talk about this:

Talk to your spouse and/or circle of people you do life with and compare note about the most challenging parts of your parenting “job description. Do you struggle most being the Conscience, Consequences, or Self-Discipline?

ALSO - spend some time talking about your “segue plans.” Are you intentionally handing things off to your kids? Why or why not?

Also remember…
We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Also have you left a review on iTunes? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with iTunes, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

#36 - Creating A Family Identity

May 30, 2017 32:20

Description:

Have you ever heard of a nameless team…or of a team without logos, colors, and songs? These are common tools used to identify groups, to rally individuals and to galvanize fans. When you see people sporting a particular mascot on the back of their car, you learn something about them. In this episode, Billy and Joy talk about the importance AND the process of creating a family identity.

Talk about this:

What's stopping you from creating a family identity?

What is your process to hone in on your values? When and where will you do it?

How will you display and celebrate your values?

Related link:

Here’s an example of the truth wall mentioned in the episode. (Click here)

Also remember…
We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

 

Also have you left a review on iTunes? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with iTunes, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

#35 - Four Terrible (but really romantic) Marriage Thoughts

May 23, 2017 31:28

Description:

Was Jerry McGuire right? Does marriage really “complete” us? We have all heard ideas about marriage that bear little resemblance to the realities of our relationships. In today’s episode Billy and Joy kick four myths to the curb and offer some more practical insights on what having a spouse really means.

Talk about this:

Which myth did or do we currently believe? In what way do we need to ground our marriage in a more healthy reality?

Related link:

The Tim Keller series Billy mentions in the episode was eventually turned into a book that we love called The Meaning of Marriage. Click here.   

Also remember…
We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Also have you left a review on iTunes? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with iTunes, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

#34 - Dealing with Dishonesty

May 16, 2017 34:28

Description:

What do you do when you catch your kid lying to you? This is one of the biggest, most common dilemma parents face. In this episode Billy & Joy talk about why this topic is so emotional and review four approaches to confronting the lies.

The quick four:

Set right expectations Execute productive reactions Foster communication Be intentional with consequences

Talk about this:

From what I've experienced / known of MY kids, what is his/her propensity or reasoning for most lies?

What might be the problem behind the lie?

What do I need to change in the way I approach lying?

Also remember…
We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Have you left a review on iTunes? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with iTunes, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

#33 - Enjoying Your Family

May 2, 2017 33:00

Description:

Somewhere between the sleepless nights and high school graduation, parents often lose the “fun” part of their family. As understandable as this loss is, who really wants to settle for drudgery? In this episode Billy and Joy talk about what kills the fun and then talks about approaches to maximizing the enjoyment with your team. 

Take a listen and if you need a quick reminder of their list, here you go:

Defend against the return of the bad habits (or to put in a positive way, get your rest, maintain margin, avoid comparisons, stop complaining, & manage expectations) Articulate “Fun” as a goal Lean into your kids for ideas -- kids come naturally to play -- PLAY WITH THEM (If you need specific ideas, download episode #10) Make a plan Celebrate often Lighten up the pressure.

Talk about this:

Do we have all the joy we desire in our family? What needs to change?

Also remember…
We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Also have you left a review on iTunes? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with iTunes, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

#32 – 6 Crucial Practices Before Becoming Parents

May 2, 2017 32:07

Description:

Are you thinking about having kids? Ever wonder what you need to know or maybe what things you shouldn’t worry about? Where do you start? In this episode Billy & Joy talk about six crucial practice you should develop before you have kids. While this list isn’t exhaustive, it’s a great starting point.

Here’s a quick recap of the list:

#1 – Establish healthy habits

#2 – Dial into families whose family (and processes) you admire

#3 – Prioritize your marriage

#4 – Prepare for your new life with some practical questions

#5 – Imagine the failings, disappointments, and flaws with a family

#6 – Practice Serving

Talk about this:

Where do we need to spend time thinking about our pre-kid planning?

Related Link

In case you want to see the list of misspelt words! http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/5538890/Definitely-is-most-commonly-misspelt-word.html

Also remember…
We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Also have you left a review on iTunes? TODAY IS YOUR DAY!!!!

Leaving a review is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with iTunes, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

 

#31 - Erasing Fear From Parenting

Apr 25, 2017 34:43

Description:

Parenting is the perfect environment for fear to grow and flourish…but it doesn’t have to. In today’s episode Joy and Billy kick around a few ideas for getting out of the worry/fear cycle. (And yes, worry is a synonym for fear!) Here’s the four key habits for those of you who like notes!

Name you fears – bringing your fears into the light helps defuse their power. Get to the root of your fear – knowing what you’re really afraid of helps you understand and deal with the true issue. Share your fears – there’s power in community. Take a long view- perspective helps!

Talk about this:
What are you afraid of…really?

Also remember…
We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Also have you left a review on iTunes? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with iTunes, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast with your friends!

#30 - Five Important Questions To Ask Your Kids

Apr 18, 2017 36:40

Description:

When you’re raising a family, it’s easy to drift into command & control mode – to talk AT our kids rather than talk WITH them. In this episode, Billy and Joy chat about how to interrupt the lecture habit with a handful of powerful questions.

What do you want to say? This question encourages kids to use their words to describe their emotions. Did you do your best? This takes the focus off of comparison in order to emphasize effort. What do YOU think? The beauty of this question is that with younger children you see their imagination, while with the older set you discover their opinions, logic, and planning skills. What was your role? This may be the toughest question of all because answering this questions means taking responsibility for your actions. What was your goal? When you ask this question, you’re exploring your child’s hopes, dreams, and disappointments. This question can be a starting point for a greater depth of connection. 

Related(ish) Follow up Points & Links:

Of COURSE there’s a buzzfeed for those “oddly satisfying” things we find in life. Check out one HERE.

Between? Among? Betwixt? Have we inadvertently misnamed this podcast? UGH! 

“It’s not that I’m so smart, but I stay with the questions much longer.” Albert Einstein

Billy references an earlier podcast about child development/stages (Episode #8 ) which you can also find HERE.

If you’re comparing notes on this topic or podcast, talk about these conversation starters:

Do we ask enough questions with our kids? Are we talking AT our kids more than WITH them? Given your child’s developmental stage and wiring, what kinds of questions are most effective? How well do I listen to my kids and how can I improve? Think about the amount of quantity and quality of time, the setting and pace of your conversations, the openness, etc.

Also remember…

We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Also have you left a review on iTunes? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with iTunes, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents.

#29 - The "Mosquitos" of Marriage

Apr 11, 2017 34:14

Description:

Abandonment, infidelity, abuse – it’s easy to name big issues that undermine relationships, but what about the little things? In this episode Billy & Joy talk about seemingly small habits and blind spots which can also threaten the health of our marriage. We call these behaviors “mosquitos” because while their stature is small, their negative impact is considerable.

Related(ish) Links:

Mosquitos are seriously the deadliest animal in the world. Check THIS out.  

Talk about this:

Identify the threats and consider, what are some of the “mosquito-sized” threats in this particular season of our marriage? (Remember, the threats can change throughout your marriage.

Consider…

Quantity AND consistency of time

Failure to celebrate your spouse

Lingering resentments/keeping score

Failure to be a student of your spouse

Unidentified or unaddressed issues from the past

A lack of self-awareness

What are the practical ways we can “swat ‘em?”

 

Also remember…

We have a new Facebook page! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Finally - Please leave us a review on iTunes. This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with iTunes, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

 

#28 - Where Happiness Begins

Apr 4, 2017 34:56

Description:

“Happiness begins where selfishness ends.”

John Wooden, the legendary UCLA basketball coach and all-around leadership guru made this astute observation years ago. In this episode Joy & Billy talk about the impact selfishness has on marriages and parenting. After all, don’t we all want to get our way, to be first, to win? What does it take to live selflessly? While you won’t find all the answers here (far from it!), you should find plenty of things to think about and discuss with the people you “do life with.”

Related(ish) Links:

Read about the amazing High School kid who did nothing but praise fellow students on social media HERE

Talk about this:

Identify the threats -- In what environments/scenarios/seasons do you tend to become most selfish?

Identify situations where you’re most likely to be selfless.

Finally, practice doing something selfless this week – either individually or as a family.

Also remember…

We have a new Facebook page! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast 

Also - Please leave us a review on iTunes. This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with iTunes, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

 

#27 - Dealing with Anger

Mar 28, 2017 33:28

Description:

Anger is an unavoidable and universal emotion. As parents we have to model and teach our kids what to do with this emotion. In this episode Billy and Joy talk about three areas to consider as we walk this challenging path; how to express, how to cope, and how to resolve anger.

This episode has plenty to think about AND discuss with others.  In fact...

Talk about these two buckets:

#1 - Personal accountability - How well do you manage your anger? Would people say you have a "temper"? Does your family feel safe with you? Who can hold you accountable for your anger?

#2 - Which area do you need to "shore up" with your kids - Express - Cope - or Resolve?

Also remember…

We have a new Facebook page! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Also - Please leave us a review on iTunes. This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with iTunes, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

#26 - Because I Said So

Mar 21, 2017 31:50

Description:

While there are times and places for saying, “Because I said so,” the phrase doesn’t make a compelling communication strategy. In this episode Billy and Joy discuss why ditching this phrase is so important to your long-term parenting goals. Take a listen!

Related(ish) Links:

Do you know “Mike Brady moments”?? Watch a fun video here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LYO1LMVmO4

Talk about this:

What is your current communication stage – obedience or communication? How easily do you drift into the “because I said so” mentality? What’s stopping you from having deeper conversations with your kids?

Also remember…

We have a new Facebook page! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

Also - Please leave us a review on iTunes. This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with iTunes, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

#25 - 10 Guiding Principles For Parents With Newborns

Mar 14, 2017 29:51

Description:

In today’s episode Billy & Joy review 10 helpful principles for people with newborns. For those of you driving, walking, or otherwise unable to note these ideas, here a quick recap!

CAREFULLY SELECT YOUR MENTORS AVOID COMPARISON DON’T BE A HERO (or say yes when people offer to help.)

      4. MANAGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS

      5. LOSE YOUR PRIDE

      6. PRIORITIES FOUNDATIONAL THINGS

          Job #1 – Eating & Sleeping

          Job #2 – Rest & Community

     7. BE A TEAM

     8. GET OUTSIDE

     9. LIGHTEN UP

    10. EMBRACE THE CHANGE & BE KIND

Also remember…

Even if you don’t have newborns, share this episode with those who do. Also - please leave us a review on iTunes. This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

Along with iTunes, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

#24 - Five Marriage Threats

Mar 7, 2017 33:48

Description:

Sometimes marriages flounder and fail because little weeds grow into big weeds; small problems become huge problems. In this episode Billy and Joy talk about five often-overlooked threats to marriage and adjustments we can make to mitigate those threats. Take a quick listen and remember to talk to your community about these questions!

Talk about this:

How have your expectations lead to tensions in your marriage? In what areas of your marriage are you most likely to think “me first?” If you could spend a season with a counselor, what area of your life would benefit from the attention? What is stopping you from seeing someone? Does your spouse feel as if they are first in your life? What bad habits of yours have impacted your marriage?

Also remember…

Please leave us a review on iTunes. This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

Along with iTunes, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

#23 - Letting Your Kids Take Risks

Feb 28, 2017 34:28

Description:

Parents are often (and naturally) hesitant when it comes to allowing their kids to take risks. However, it’s important to prepare our kids for life in a dangerous world. How do you decide to stretch your children’s comfort zone? Let’s discuss…

Related(ish) Links:

Halibut Cove Alaska is definitely worth a visit (even if you’re not learning to drive a boat.)

http://www.halibutcove.com 

Do you remember Family Circus? One of our favorites!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Family_Circus 

Talk about this:

This week's section is more extensive than usual (which we explain) so here's a list of the questions.

What is the goal in allowing this risk? How does your personal wiring play into what you allow your kids to do? How does your child’s wiring play into their risk taking? Are there any areas that could be too limiting? What specific opportunities can you provide which will stretch your kids?

Also remember…

Please leave us a review on iTunes. This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

Along with iTunes, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

#22 - Forgiving Your Kids

Feb 21, 2017 30:31

Description:

Have your kids ever hurt your feelings? If so, you’re not alone!

In today’s podcast we talk about how to model forgiveness and the importance of not just “taking your licks” but teaching your kids how their words matter. We barely scratch the surface of this important topic, but you will have PLENTY to ideas for your conversations with your spouse or other parents.

Related(ish) Links

“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” - Attributed to Carrie Fisher, but I’m not 100% on this!

Lisa Damour's book Untangled.  

Talk about this:

Where do you most need to offer forgiveness? Where do you need forgiveness!

Also remember…

Please leave us a review on iTunes. This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

Along with iTunes, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

#21 - Strategies For Kids & Food

Feb 15, 2017 36:47

Description:

Getting your kids to eat three meals a day can be stressful. How do you manage to get the right things into their bellies? On this week’s podcast Billy & Joy move beyond the two biggest factors (Environment & Modeling) and talk strategy.

This is the list… (listen to the episode for full context!)

1 - Recognize cycles -

2. Continue exposure

3. Don't make it a battle

4. Plate the family food - this helps w/#3

5. Use a variety of names for

6. Enlist their help

7. Let them help in the meal prep.

8. Praise tastings!

9. Season separately

10. Leverage unique things their friends eat

11. INVEST in your skills -- 

Related(ish) Links

Are kids are hardwired to like certain foods? Check out this study.

This article describes how kids are more likely to taste and respond negatively to bitter foods.

Talk about this… actually, this week just try something new! Let us know what you discover! 

Also remember…

Please leave us a review on iTunes. This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

Along with iTunes, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

#20 - What I've Learned From Men Who Went Before Me

Feb 7, 2017 31:43

Description:

With Joy out of town this week, Billy “goes solo” and shares some of the best and favorite advice he’s received from men who’ve walked before and beside him. Gals, feel free to listen in, but this one is especially designed for the men. A quick recap of the The Big Five (so far) 1. Make a study of your spouse, your family, and yourself. 2. Invest into all your roles fully. 3. Guard your time. 4. Be a protector. 5. Build community As always, we'd love for you to leave us a review and share this podcast with others.

#19 - Keeping Your Family Flexible

Jan 31, 2017 32:14

Description:

Disappointments are a regular part of life. One of the best ways to overcome these disappointments is to stay flexible. Easier said than done, right? On this episode, Billy and Joy review five elements which keep families nimble and on track to handle life’s inevitable “plot twists.” 

Related(ish) Links

What is a Myers Briggs type? The official site is here.

But if you’d rather look at your type as a Star Wars or Harry Potter character, look here

For the record, Joy is an ENTP and Billy is an ENFJ

Talk about this:

Where are our kids most limited by a routine?
What are some ideas for interjecting some adventures into the routine?
How are your kids different when it comes to routine? Who needs more or less?

Also remember…

Please leave us a review on iTunes. This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

Along with iTunes, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

 

#18 - Words Matter

Jan 24, 2017 33:16

Description:

Do you remember the common expressions from your childhood? Can you recall the words that made you soar or the ones that made you cringe? On today’s episode we talk about how to be intentional with the words you give your kids. There’s a TON to talk about, so listen in for some ideas! 

Related (ish) Links

Why you should cover your computer camera (no matter what Billy says!) from THE FBI!!!  Click here

Barry White’s Song Credits 

More words around why we don't tell our kids they are smart here along with the original article which grabbed our attention here

Find Sarah Anderson’s interview on Surviving Sarah podcast here or her blog here (she’s so very wise!)

Our Chalk Board

The Truth Wall

Talk about this: 

What words do you think your kids need to hear? What can we do to make those words memorable?

Also remember…

Along with iTunes, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

 

#17 - Money & Allowance Planning With Kids

Jan 17, 2017 32:21

Description:

Managing money is tricky for adults, so it’s no surprise that kids need significant guidance when it comes to having money. Do you have a plan for teaching your kids about money? And what about allowances? Do you pay your kids for doing chores or do you just give them money with no strings attached? In this episode, Billy & Joy tackle those questions and give you a number of thoughts to consider.

Related (ish) Links

“I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.”

Maya Angelou

Talk about this:

What plan would work best for our family for teaching our kids how to be responsible for their money? What steps do we need to take to implement the plan? 

Also remember…

Along with iTunes, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa).You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

Remember to leave us reviews and share with your friends!

 

#16 - 8 Questions For A Great Marriage This Year

Jan 10, 2017 31:00

Description:

#16 – 8 Questions For A Great Marriage This Year

Do you make New Year’s resolutions? How about at the office, do you set annual goals? People expect to make evaluations and think about how to grow in these areas, but it’s not always common to consider how to make our marriages better.

In this episode, we give you a few questions to ask each other to get any year off to a great start.

These aren’t all encompassing, but they should get you thinking. And remember, to watch your pronouns…this is a “we” discussion!

The 8 Questions

Evaluate what’s past…

This past year did it seem like we controlled our schedules & money, or did our money and schedules control us? How well did we communicate with each other this year? What needed to be said more or less often? What are some of the best decisions we made to improve our marriage? What decisions should we have made differently? What were three of our best and challenging moments together this year?

Plan for what’s ahead

What must we do to control our schedules & money, so they won’t control us? Which key people will we listen to for marriage and family advice next year? What specific plans must we make to ensure that happens? What do we need to START and what do we need to STOP doing to help our relationship?  What will we do to “nurture romance” in our marriage?

Odds & Ends….

Along with iTunes, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa).

You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

#15 - The Dangers of Overachieving Parents

Jan 3, 2017 31:52

Description:

No matter how you define success, there is a natural tendency to project that definition onto your kids. In this episode, Billy and Joy talk about an article that gives us plenty to think about and chew on.

If you’re ready for some “mind work” take a listen!

Related (ish) Links and Follow up

The Fast Company article we are discussing can be read in its full glory here.

Between Parents is now on TuneIn and is also on twitter @between_parents

You can also find us on Instagram @betweenparents

Talk About This:

Do you agree with the four strategies? Which one do you find most challenging and how do you need to think differently?

 

 

#14 - When Kids Fight

Dec 20, 2016 31:41

Description:

If you have more than one child, you know siblings are going to fight. Sometimes the conflict is short and inconsequential, others times...well, it's not.

In this episode Billy and Joy talk about goals for parents and kids for handling disagreements and managing three phases of conflict well.

Take a listen and, more importantly, talk to others about what you hear!

Related (ish) Links

Mattress and cars don't go together!  Exhibit A - - here!

If you want more than Joy's passing guess on the Socratic Method, check here

Thanks for spending part of your day with us.  Remember to subscribe and leave a review!

Also check us out on Instagram at Between Parents

#13 - Heading Back To Work

Dec 13, 2016 38:34

Description:

One of the more emotional events for many parents is the process of heading back to work. Joy and Billy have navigated those waters for years and discuss managing guilt,  the importance of having a family strategy, and establishing boundaries with your employer.

If you are walking this path, take a listen!

Related (ish) Links:

YKK padlock zippers are are thing... they are called key lock sliders.

http://www.ykkfastening.com/products/types/s_zipper.html

And, for the record, Joy DID receive a key for the beanbag. (Thanks Salesman Doug - - if that's your name!)

I love Shonda Rhimes take on being a working mom. If you haven't read A Year Of Yes, it's worth your time. 

Talk About This:

What internal (family) priorities and practices we need to establish before heading back to work?

What external (employer/employee) expectations and boundaries do we need to have in place in order to make the new dynamics work?

#12 - The Parenting "Elevator Pitch"

Dec 6, 2016 30:34

Description:

You get on an elevator and run into some friends who are about to have a baby. They ask you for your best advice before you get to the lobby. What do you say? What wisdom do you give at a moment’s notice?

In this episode Billy and Joy offer five elements of their elevator pitch and while it’s not a complete list (we only have 20 floors in this imaginary building!), but it’s a start! Hop on board…

Related (ish) Links and Follow up

Words you like to say, Words you hate to say… 

Chilean

Cattywampus

Cucamonga

Fastidious

The origin of the Mike Tyson quote is: “Everyone has a plan until they get hit.” was explained in the Sun Sentinel

"People were asking me [before a fight], 'What’s going to happen?,' " Tyson said. "They were talking about his style. 'He's going to give you a lot of lateral movement. He's going to move, he's going to dance. He's going to do this, do that.' I said, "Everybody has a plan until they get hit. Then, like a rat, they stop in fear and freeze.' "

The correct Taylor Swift song is… Never grow up… lyrics here. Joy is still embarrassed she missed this! 

We talk more about community in episode #7. Link is here

The exact Stephen Covey quote is "Begin with the end in mind" and is one of the principles from the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. 

The fabulous proverb Billy mentions is Proverbs 22:6

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. 

 

Talk About This:

How is what we are doing today helping us leading us to where we want to be tomorrow? How are our decisions now leading us to where we want to be.?

Ask people whose families you admire, what their elevator pitch is for parenting.

If you haven’t left us a review yet, wait no longer!!! Head on over and give us 5 stars (thanks!!! It helps)

#11 - Having an awkward date night...on purpose!

Nov 29, 2016 30:08

Description:

Even when we know feedback strengthens relationships, in a marriage it’s easy to give input out of anger, at the wrong time, or to avoid the process entirely. In this episode we discuss practical steps for getting feedback from your spouse and how this process can strengthen your relationship.

Related (ish) Links and Follow up

CHICK-fil-A (emphasis matters) - But if you listen to the Oxford dictionary, maybe Joy is more right than wrong!  (What do you think?)

http://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/us/pronunciation/english/chick-fil-a

A blog post outlining much of this talk is here:

http://joyphenix.com/blog/the-awkward-date-night/ 

Finally, as promised, here’s a list of the sample questions we discussed on the episode:

Sample Questions:

If you could change one thing about me, what would it be? Have I done anything to hurt you recently? If so, what? Do any of my friendships make you uncomfortable? What’s one thing that I do that bothers you that I don’t seem to realize? Is there anything that you’re nervous to talk to me about? If so, what? In what ways do you ever feel disrespected by me? In what ways would you like to change our level of emotional intimacy? In what ways would you like to change our level of physical intimacy? In what ways do I cause you to feel unloved? Do you have any secrets that you’ve been afraid to tell me?

Remember to end with a couple of positive questions.

What do you think we are doing well? What do you love most about our marriage these days?

Bonus family questions (as mentioned)

What could I do to be a better parent? What could I change to make our relationship better?

Talk About This:

This week is all about talking through the questions above. Please GO for it!

 If you haven’t left us a review yet, please do so!!

#10 - Keeping Family Fun

Nov 22, 2016 31:20

Description:

Whether you have intentionally set aside family connection time OR you have found yourself waiting together in an unexpectedly long line (coke freestyle machines, I’m looking at you!), make the most of the time by playing together. Today’s conversation is about some of our favorite, (mostly) mobile games that give you the opportunity to laugh together.

Related (ish) Links

How many hours does the average dog sleep?

http://www.petful.com/behaviors/how-long-dogs-sleep-average/

Algorithm a la Urban Dictionary…

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=algorithm&defid=8162210

Squiggly (make a picture) game

http://joyphenix.com/blog/keeping-dinner-fun/

License plate games

This post describes the license plate game along with a bunch of other road trip games.

http://joyphenix.com/blog/on-the-road-again/

Compliment game

http://joyphenix.com/blog/the-compliment-game/

Telephone on paper

http://joyphenix.com/blog/playing-telephone-on-paper/

Make up a story

http://joyphenix.com/blog/table-games/

https://www.storycubes.com

Wikipedia challenge & Storytelling

http://joyphenix.com/blog/home-date-night/

Pee Chee folders (Did you have these growing up?)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pee_Chee_folder

Drawsomething

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draw_Something

Tensies

https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=tensies+game+rules&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

Talk about this:

Tell us about your favorite games!!!

 

#9 - Five tips for making in-law relationships work

Nov 15, 2016 28:34

Description:

Every relationship has its tensions, but hanging with your in-laws has its own brand of intensity. While dynamics can vary wildly, a few basic principles can help any situation. In this episode Billy and Joy talk about a handful of “best practices” which are great foundations for healthy in-law relationships.

Related (ish) Links 

Earl Gray is NOT English Breakfast Tea

https://blog.yourtea.com/earl-grey-vs-english-breakfast-tea/

Play the game – can you hear Mack, the yellow lab? He goes on a rolling escapade in the middle of recording ignoring all the pleas of our sound engineer (Billy).

 

This is a good article about the importance of trying to be empathetic

http://www.wsj.com/articles/why-you-should-have-more-empathy-1462210724

Boundaries are your friend! This is our favorite writers on this topic are Henry Cloud and John Townsend

https://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Kids-Children-Control-Their/dp/0310243157/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1478795238&sr=8-5&keywords=boundaries

 Please subscribe AND leave a review on iTunes. It really helps others find us! 

#8 - Is this really just a "stage?"

Nov 8, 2016 37:13

Description:

We don’t always realize both our kids AND our parenting are traveling through predictable stages. In fact, we go through the phases not once, but twice. In this episode Billy & Joy go through each stage so you will can recognize the challenges and realize that the "deja vu" you're experiencing is completely normal!

Related (ish) Links:

Backmasking a la Wikipedia 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Backmasking

The famous Farrah poster… you don’t need a link do you? How about this one to switch things up?

http://www.thebarbiecollection.com/celebrity-dolls/farrah-fawcett-doll-v7161

Subliminal messages

http://www.neuro-vision.us/wordpress/subliminal-persuasion/do-subliminal-messages-work/

Growth Stage – Stephen Glenn

Glenn’s most popular book is Raising Self Reliant Children in a Self-indulgent World

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0761511288?_encoding=UTF8&isInIframe=0&n=283155&ref_=dp_proddesc_0&s=books&showDetailProductDesc=1#product-description_feature_div

The book with the stages isn’t currently in print, but you can read the material on google books here:

https://books.google.com/books?id=5jA0CIc-E3QC&pg=PT23&lpg=PT23&dq=stephen+glenn+child+development+stages&source=bl&ots=Y8oJ-Tm5ot&sig=RytZNv5B18ns_L2Fo3bnMomx2t0&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjlh5vBn5jQAhVKNSYKHbzsAEIQ6AEIIjAB#v=onepage&q=stephen%20glenn%20child%20development%20stages&f=false

 

 

The Three Stages 

Cycle One

Discovery - Age 0-4

Testing Out – Age 5-6

Concluding – Age 9-12

Cycle Two

Discovery - Age 12-14

Testing Out – Age 15-17

Concluding – 17+

 

Talk about this:

Evaluate what stage your children are in and ask yourself what work do I need to do to make this stage better?

Thanks for listening! Remember to subscribe to Between Parents and leave a review on iTunes and share this podcast with others.

You can find us @betweenparents on Instagram and on twitter @joyphenix and @billyphenix

#7 - Don't Do Life Alone

Nov 1, 2016 33:22

Description:

When life gets full it’s easy to slip into maintenance mode and drift into isolation. But isolation is terrible for our marriage and family. In this episode Billy and Joy talk about why we avoid being in community, why it matters and how we find connection with others. 

Related(ish) Links:

The Jeep Wave – it’s a thing

 http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Jeep%20Wave

No one describes the shame issue better than Brene Brown. You should watch her TED talk here

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame?language=en

Or pick up her book Daring Greatly

 https://www.amazon.com/Daring-Greatly-Courage-Vulnerable-Transforms/dp/1592408419

 “If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have the time to do it over?” 
John Wooden

Tim Ferris Podcast

http://fourhourworkweek.com/podcast/ 

“You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with” Jim Rohn

Talk about this: In your world, who is where you want to be? What are the tensions you face that you would want to ask them about? Make a plan to connect!

#6 - Traveling with Children

Oct 22, 2016 32:30

Description:

Are you taking your child on a airplane? Do you know someone who is about to travel with a child? 

Do yourself (or them) a favor and listen to this podcast where Joy & Billy discuss some best practices for flying with little ones. (Hint: success is all about your pregame preparations)

 

Related (ish) links:

Would you rather?

https://www.rrrather.com

Teaching kids to show respect

http://joyphenix.com/blog/teaching-your-kids-how-to-show-respect/

 

Thanks for tuning in!  Please leave a review and share with your friends!

#5 - Understanding why we run our families the way we do

Oct 22, 2016 25:49

Description:

Why do we raise our family the way we do?

What influences us most?

In this episode Billy and Joy discuss the importance of digging into how our past is impacts our family, even subconsciously, and why it can be a problem. We’ll talk about paying attention to the “smoke” in our family and giving ourselves permission to live differently.

Related(ish) Links:

The whole nine toe story

http://joyphenix.com/blog/lessons-in-disobedience-forgiveness-consequences-through-a-missing-toe/

Ellie’s birthday campaign explained in her own words

http://joyphenix.com/blog/ellies-charity-water-13th-birthday-campaign/

If you want to learn more about Charity Water, go here

http://www.charitywater.org

Thanks for checking us out! Remember to subscribe and leave a review!

#4 - A practical step toward prioritizing marriage

Oct 22, 2016 23:59

Description:

 “It’s not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship
that makes unhappy marriages.”
F. Niechze

Do you remember when you were first married and you felt good about connecting with your spouse? You enjoyed evenings together, having adventures, and in-depth conversations…then something happened.

For many people the “something” was having kids.

In this episode Billy and Joy talk about a couple of very practical (and admittedly unromantic) ideas for prioritizing your marriage.

 Related(ish) Links:

Smoothie straws really are fabulous (especially when they are clean!)

https://www.amazon.com/Assorted-Colors-Smoothie-Straws-Pieces/dp/B01JQJYAM4/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1476478914&sr=8-3&keywords=smoothie+straws

Joy’s written a bunch of posts on this topic, here are a few you might like.

Three reasons your marriage needs getaways

http://joyphenix.com/blog/3-reasons-your-marriage-needs-getaways/

Creating a culture of awesomeness

http://joyphenix.com/blog/how-to-make-marriage-awesomeness-a-reality/ 

A little more encouragement for scheduling a babysitter!

http://joyphenix.com/blog/you-absolutely-need-a-date-this-weekend/ 

The short, fabulous book, When Work and Family Collide by Andy Stanley

https://www.amazon.com/When-Work-Family-Collide-Cheating/dp/1601423799/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1477060882&sr=1-1&keywords=when+work+and+family+collide

Thanks for listening! Remember to leave a review on iTunes and share this podcast with others.

 

#3 - Fighting with your kids

Oct 15, 2016 32:50

Description:

Disagreement and tension SHOULD exist between parents and kids.

Where there is friction, there’s an opportunity for learning. Where there’s tension and disagreement, there’s an opportunity to develop emotional intelligence in our kids.

If you’re like us, you probably don’t like the idea that conflict is a necessary part of parenting. In this episode we’ll unpack an article by Lisa Damour which shifted our perspectives on why conflict is a good thing.

Related(ish) Links:

Caramel – there’s more than one way to say this word INCLUDING keeping the second a silent!

http://blog.oxforddictionaries.com/2015/06/9-pronunciation-arguments-you-can-stop-having/

Carmel by the Sea doesn’t have the extra “a” but it DOES have fabulous beaches!

http://www.wikihow.com/Organize-Your-Backpack

The article we are discussing today by Lisa Damour is here

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2016/03/16/the-best-way-to-fight-with-a-teenager/?_r=0 

My more detailed review of Lisa Damour’s book, Untangled

http://joyphenix.com/blog/book-review-untangled/

And if you want to read the book for yourself (and you should!), here’s the Amazon link

https://www.amazon.com/Untangled-Guiding-Teenage-Transitions-Adulthood/dp/0553393057/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1476475657&sr=8-1&keywords=untangled

For the record…Joy missed a word that Billy clearly understood!

Ne’er-do-well

http://www.dictionary.com/browse/ne-er-do-well

Remember to leave us a review on iTunes!

 

#2 - A warning about parent measurements

Oct 14, 2016 24:53

Description:

Wouldn’t it be great to have gauges on our kids telling us how we are doing? Wouldn’t you love to know if your approach to raising kind, healthy, and wise kids was actually working?

We all crave measurement and feedback, but the input in slow in coming. In this episode Billy and Joy talk about the temptation to drift toward things with numbers. They discuss questions we might ask ourselves about what we really value and offer reminders about dangerous comparisons.

Related(ish) Links: 

How to hang a roll of toilet paper: 

http://mentalfloss.com/article/67036/proper-way-hang-roll-toilet-paper

A far too lengthy Wikipedia post about toilet paper:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilet_paper_orientation

Salad Days – it’s a thing

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salad_days

How to properly pack a school backpack

http://www.wikihow.com/Organize-Your-Backpack

 

Thanks for joining us! 

#1 - Welcome to the Podcast

Oct 13, 2016 16:21

Description:

Welcome to Between Parents!  

 Parenting isn't easy and many people feel stress with their kids, tension in their marriages, or isolation from community. In this first episode Billy and Joy introduce themselves and discuss what listeners can expect from this podcast. The goal for these chats is to create starting points for parents to broaden their inputs and raise ideas which prompt helpful conversations between parents. (See what we did there?)

We'd love to hear from you.

You can reach us 

joy@joyphenix.com

Or follow on twitter

@joyphenix

@billyphenix

More importantly, download another episode and/or subscribe to add more input into your parenting adventure!